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Anxious

daisyLazy4544 June 24th, 2022

My boyfriend has been loving and caring but I can’t get some things he said out of my head. Personally, I refuse to fully check someone out, only acknowledge “they’re attractive good for them and their confidence”, but when my bf said “it’s okay to look in a relationship” and “seeing isn’t the same thing as looking” and every time I used to compliment him he’d bring up another girl and that made feel really uncomfortable. Also during a date we had he saw a girl in the movie and was like “god she’s soooo bad” and I felt like I looked nothing like these girls. He also followed and liked half naked pictures of a bunch of girls. And I told him about how uncomfortable I felt and he says he’s trying his best and he hasn’t said anything out loud and unfollowed a lot of those girls for a while but I can’t help thinking how he probably just does it when I’m not around now. I feel like I almost don’t trust him now to not lust after girls, make moves on them and leave me esp cause he also likes to party. I also feel like I haven’t been able to have physical intimacy like before and I’m worried that maybe he’s not actually attracted to me anymore. I’m not sure what to do and if I’m just holding onto old things and something else is just going on

3
indigoOrange9898 June 24th, 2022

It's not okay to say things like that to your gf. I mean, it's nice, that he's so open abt it to tell you, but it's not great hearing about it. The sad thing is, that most men are very dirty minded, you can't really change that. In my experience, if you tell them that you're being uncomfortable with that, they'll be more careful about what they're saying in front of you, but we can't tell what's in their mind. I think that he still have these thoughts, but he's trying to keep it to himself. I don't know abt his loyalty, but I think if he truly loves you, shows it and shares it, he wouldn't cheat on you. But honestly, the best thing you could do is just to be the best version of yourself (for you) so that you can be more confident and start to love yourself more. Insecurity often comes from lack of confidence and self love.

1 reply
daisyLazy4544 OP June 24th, 2022

Thank you that made me feel really validated and I’ll do my best to love myself as well :)


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HoldingOnForThem July 15th, 2022

I feel exactly like you, would love to talk if we can x