What can I do?
Here is the problem. My girlfriend and I are very much in love, almost inseperable. But she has a bad form of insomnia; where she falls asleep fine but wakes up in terror of not being able to go back to sleep. The terror keeps her awake. Sometimes I can ease that, and she can go back to sleep, other times the problem is that I am there (in another room) and will be waking up early to go to work and that puts her on edge.
We tried living together, but gave up on that because of her not sleeping. I am 65 years old, and do not believe I could find another woman to love, don't even want to. But how can I be with her, live with her, when I am part of what keeps her awake?
@Offmytrack
People have different sleep needs, a lot of people can get by just fine even with 4 hours a day. Have you discussed this with a doctor to see if her current sleep patterns are affecting her health adversely? It sounds like the pressure to follow a certain pattern is traumatic for her.
@0m, she has seen doctors and sleep therapists. None of them have helped. I am at a loss here.
@Offmytrack
Have the doctors rejected the need for any intervention or medication? It might be that if this isn't hurting her health it might be okay to let her wake when she wakes and do fun stuff or read something rather than stress about going back to sleep?
@0m no, they havent rejected anything. She is miserable without sleep. Just try staying awake for a couple of days and see what effect that has on you.
@Offmytrack
Other than getting a doc to help, we have a self help guide on this site about sleep. I'll share the guide here, hope something in there might be of some help. https://www.7cups.com/sleeping-well/
Good luck!
@0m
Hi there, I am Heather. I am wondering if she has had some kind of trauma? Sometimes at night our anxieties and past hurts come up at night...it almost seems as if it could be about anxiety about the past or fear about the future, for example, she might be afraid you will leave her...
@hebbie462 She might have a bit of trauma, but I don't really think so. She was married for 12 years, almost all of it bad. She doesn't have any thought of my leaving her, I make sure of that. I tell her all the time that she is my one and only, that I will love her forever and always. I am kind of romantic in that way.
@Offmytrack