It Can Be Way Harder To Process a Breakup When No One Did Anything Wrong—Here’s Why

"In breakups that aren’t someone’s fault, sadness is easier to access than anger. With no one to blame, you confront the true grief of the loss.” —Christie Kederian, EdD, psychotherapist

No-fault breakups sometimes may have a complete lack of any emotion at all, though. A mutual breakup can be easier to move on from, according to Lisa Lawless, PhD, an AASECT-certified psychotherapist specializing in clinical psychology, relationships, and sexual health. Whether due to a lack of chemistry, different life goals or values, or an unwillingness to commit, a truly joint decision can be easier to accept because “both partners see that it was not a good match,” she says.

Another negative-leaning result of a nebulous ending to a relationship is self-blame. “People end up blaming themselves because when there is someone to blame, it’s easier to release difficult emotions,” says Dr. Kederian.

How to move on from a no-fault breakup

Acceptance is often the hardest step for those on the receiving end of a no-fault breakup. “Accepting the breakup is vital, and your willingness to accept the split will make the grieving process much shorter,” says Dr. Lawless. Still, she adds, these breakups “can cause people to feel lost and unclear about what they want in a partner” and suggests self-exploration as a first or early exercise following the event."

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✨Takeaway: A "no-fault" breakup is one where neither party is to blame for the end of the relationship, and instead, it is viewed as a mutual decision to part ways for the benefit of both people. It's important to take responsibility for your own actions and emotions, but also recognize that sometimes relationships just don't work out, and that's okay.

✨Reflection: Have you ever experienced a no-fault breakup? How did it compare to other breakups you've had?

#Relationships #Breakup #MentalHealth

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