I'm terrified of relationships
I didn't really know where to post this, but hi, I'm 17 and I am scared of being in a relationship. I have only tried dating once and it only lasted a month, ever since then I don't really think i would be a good girlfriend. I really would like to date, but I guess I don't know how. I was token out to eat with my last boyfriend and I was unable to eat hardly anything, I felt terrible because he had to waste money on me. We also went to a dance and I felt like I let him down, I told him before that I can't dance, so we just sat the entire time. I was very shaking and unsure of what to do. I was basically panicking and wishing he hadn't wasted his time taking me. I really drained the fun out of going. I had heard about people telling him at school why I didn't kiss him when we had been dating a while, so I asked him if he wanted to kiss me. He did but it was awkward because I didn't kiss back, I was still pretty panicky. I felt bad, because i was disgusted by it. I didn't want to be, but I didn't like it. It was a disaster I was shaking so hard he thought I was cold and shivering. I really want to try a relationship again but I'm afraid I'll just let someone down and be a terrible gf. :c
I'm also scared of relationships, I've never gone on a date or anything. Im awkward, i talk to guys but then i mess it up because i act stupid and im shy and nervouse im scared to date also, you're not alone<3 i too feel like i would be a bad girlfriend...
@Devilishnephilim
It sounds like the anxiety of being in the relationship is making you so nervous that you can't be yourself! That's super frustrating to say the least and oh my gosh I know what you mean about feeling petrified. Not fun :c
I have a pretty neat article here with 5 ways you can help overcome relationship anxiety!
PsychAlive and PsychologyToday also have two really informative articles on relationship anxiety that can give you some insight on what these kind of thoughts are like.
Sending you hugs and love!!
-xx
@Devilishnephilim kudos to you for going out! Looking back now I think 17 is a bit young to be dating, but not in a critical way. Now that I'm older I see that I was nervous about dating because I was new at it and that is completely natural. You know how to get better at it? To keep going out. The tricky thing about dating is that each date you go on will be different, so while one person may not enjoy, say, dinner and a movie. There will be someone who absolutely adores it!
Relax, look and feel your best, put your best foot forward and if he doesn't want to go on a second date, that's ok. "If it doesn't open then it's not your door."
And if you have time, read The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. You can probably request a copy from your local library. I keep advocating it because it made a huge difference in how I began viewing relationships (romantic or otherwise).
You will do great!
Im scared to talk to this guy again.
Don Miguel Ruiz
The Four Agreements was so lovely