How to Stop a "Bleeding Heart"
This whole year for me has been heart break after heart break. A cycle of people treating me bad & me forgiving w/o an apology because I see them hurting as well and just want them to feel loved. Hoping some day they will become their "true selves" and it will all be worth it. I'm beginning to accept that most likely that will not be the case and I'm just allowing myself to be walked on & disregarded because I love them more than they could ever love me. I've forgiven all who have hurt me this year & moved on from it all. The only hindrance is my feelings for one of my best friends. He has had an extremely difficult year & I've gone lengths to show him I will always be there/ never leave him. But nothing I do seems to matter, he always ends up walking away like I was never apart of his life. Then on a "good day" (not sure the reasoning so that's how I explain it to myself) he will show up or I will hear from him & for that moment we are everything I dream us to be. We joke/laugh, have good conversation & say how much we love & miss each other and just when I can feel the spark in my heart of happiness to just be with him, he's gone again. & I don't mean just go about living life but he will completely block me out. I feel as if its some game to him but I don't know how to stop it because I am desperate for his presence & he knows it. (A wolf in sheep's clothing, so sweet & lovable but what is the intent behind it?)
@GP1519
You need to prove to yourself and himself that you are worth of love by someone else. He seems to be sure that your life depends on his existence and only that. Give yourself the chance to explore and see how things goes. You deserve better than walked on or by. Girl you have all the advantages over this relationship but you dont see it now.
@LadyInSilence I know I need to move on & not let him have control. I've tried but my feelings block me because no matter what I do nothing compares to his personality or the times we've spent together. The pain is great but the joy surpasses it so it's hard not to be hopeful that I can have the joy with him again. I feel foolish for allowing myself to be disregarded but at the same time I feel like things might be more complicated for him than I realize & he is young and still learning who he is. But I know what he has going on does not make it okay for me to allow myself to be treated poorly.
@GP1519
I know it won
