Fate or free will?
So, I recently had a lecture about whether or not relationships are based upon fate or free will. It was pretty interesting because I diddn't expect to have such a cool and elaborate debate about whether or not it was one or the other :) Everyone has their own beliefs and customs which is a beautiful and eye opening experience. Being yourself and having your own thoughts are important for the world to continue progressing.
Some people prefer to define that part of their relationship as fate. The reason everything is still rolling and they are "still together" is because of the ways of the universe and the fact that they must be made to be with one another.
Free will would be different. It would mean that the reason for the relationship being present and striving is because of the things that you do inside of the relationship that keeps it together and "bonded".
So personally, what are your thoughts on this topic? <3 Free will/Fate
@gentleDreamer76
When we first got together and probably well after the first decade, I would have said fate. I needed to feel we belonged together, ordained by the cosmos. I don't think I'm too far off in thinking it's how he felt to as we had many discussions regarding our union.
Even the day I said yes to marriage seemed "fate." I did a foolish and capricious thing and said to God (who was not someone I kept in close contact with), "Okay God, if it rains three times today I will marry him." Forecast: spotty showers, lol. Wouldn't you know it rained on us three different times that day. The third one did get my attention tho. We were having a picnic under a tree near a little creek on a far and secluded side of a park when a sheet of rain marched across the open field straight at us. Like it was raining 50 ft away and not on us type of rain. Just this sheet of rain that approached us and drenched us and kept marching on its way. I said YES.
As the years have passed I would say that the fate element of our relationship has dwindled somewhat although it's not entirely gone. But life has taught me that it is definitely free will. 23 years in, 19 married - it is up to us to keep the wheels on. So at last i conclude: Free Will.
(Guess it always was)
@themainjane
I should put a disclaimer on the above post. Not that it's not true, it's just that our marriage is such a mess right now and a source of sadness and aggravation to us both. We've started marriage counseling to see what can be done.
@gentleDreamer76 Quite an interesting thread here. <3 I would favour the Fate side, although I also believe free will is a big part of relationships as well. We often see ourselves admiring people close to us and far away from us but we never really expect when and who we'll have a relationship with. We are brought together by fate, but fate alone cannot keep us together, so there's our own free will as well! :)