Open relationship issues
New here, having a hard time dealing with things. Very unhappy. Idk what to do. Partner is seeing someone (we have an open relationship), I changed my mind and no longer want an open relationship. He said it isn’t fair, compared it to a taking a toy from a dog. I am so unhappy. I don’t know how to tell him. We’ve argued about it constantly for the last month or so. I looked into divorce
@passionateSea1909
First things first, if anyone said that life was fair, They have been a sleep the whole time.
Life isn't fair.
Next Open ... err ANY relationship, for it to work it takes two.
Then closing, relationships are 60 / 40. Someone is always felt giving 60 and only getting 40.
A good rule of thumb is to strive to be the one to give 60.
NOW in Open Relationship, for me. It will never work, someone will get jealous, someone will always be left out. Then for me was trust issues. I don't do and won't do Open.
We’ve been together 9 years. Have tried open several times. This time, he’s sticking with it. I’m unhappy. He somehow doesn’t see it. I don’t want to be open anymore. But I don’t want a divorce..
@passionateSea1909,
the situation apparently does not make you feel happy.
Either you accept the situation, or you make it clear to him he has to make a choice, no more open relationship or you are out.
Don't sell yourself out. You deserve to be loved unconditionally. He's the one who is not fair, not you.
I told him last week I’d tolerate it. He said “then it’s going to eat at you which is going to eat at me because I can’t do that to you.” But he is.. I wanted to go out tonight, because I have a birthday treat from my favorite restaurant. He said tonight was the only day they could hang out.. and “you’ve had all month.”
@passionateSea1909,
if he knows it eats at you then he should act upon her words.
He is not treating you with honesty and respect.
i used to think an open thing is what i wanted ..............but lately i am seeing more then a few situations like you describe.
i used to think many would have some fun and grow tired of the third party and go right back ......... but sometimes someone becomes a issue and have seen some relationships ends with that.... i wonder if the third party thing works out or it is crush that fades in time .......... and a marriage was lost in the storm
i think it is selfish of him to want to hang out with someone else when you have something for you both to do.... why did you both agree to this in the first place were you bored or just trying something out?