I'm so lost without you.

I'm not sure what i need, but i need get get it out because it's been weighing me down for the past month. Sometime in November, i got into a relationship w the most perfect person ever. i had never felt like this towards anyone. ever. everything was great until he started getting distant. i tried to think nothing of it, but it was very difficult considering my history w relationships being TERRIBLE. so i just checked on him whenever, and when he said everything was okay, i believed him. all of a sudden, i didnt hear from him at all for about 4-5 days. i had texted his number and everything worried sick that something had happened. please note his family is extremely conservative, homophobic, and transphobic so i was terrified. so finally my friend texted him and to make a long story short, after he came out to his father about being trans and dating me(a cis female) he punched him and he was hospitalized, so he couldnt talk to me anymore. i haven't heard from him in over a month, but it makes my heart ache that i didn't know about any of this. i wish i couldve helped. and from what i see on social media, he has to act feminine to keep his family happy. i hope he gets out of there soon considering he's going into college. but i love him with all my heart and i'm never going to be the same. i fought for him as well. my mother kicked me out after i said we were together. so now i'm just stuck, and crying every night. i miss him alot.