What if it happens again?!
So, I just got over my first boyfriend. I loved him dearly, but in retrospect, I realize he didn't care about me at all.
I feel ready to love again, but how do I keep myself from falling prey to someone like him again? He raped me, cheated on me, and did everything he could to destroy my confidence.
I know there are good people out there but what if I find one only pretending?? I'm quite anxious at this point...
Hello. I don't know what's your age our anything about you. But some years ago I had a boyfriend that controles me, I felt like I was living in a prison and like everything I've done was wrong. At the same time, I was afraid that anyone would ever love me again, like I was the problem. I just wanted someone who loves me and cares about me. Now I'm married with another man and I'm really happy with him, he's everything I always wanted. I know you will forget this person and you will find someone who really cares about you and respect you. And then you will be very happy!!
Thank you for your kind words :)
And, yes, for context, I am 19 and he is 26 but the relationship had been going on for two years or so.
I feel so empowered day by day and I hardly even think of him anymore!!
I'm so sorry to hear of your awful experience and I'm afraid I can relate... I'd rather not go into the intimate details here, but if you ever wish to PM, I'd love to share and hear :)
I am sure moving on from this you will be cautious and have trust issues, which is okay we all do have an experience like this. Don't ever think to your self that you won't find someone better because there is always someone better out there for you. We all look for "the one" perfect person, but throughout life there will be mutliple "the ones" you will find but it's about find the RIGHT one. I know you say your ready to date again, but one thing I recommend is focus on yourself and bettering yourself for your future and for the next guy that you find. You mentioned that you are 19, are you in college or anything right now? I am 28 and married now, but one thing I regret in the past is taking relationships so seriously. When I had a girlfriend in the past and say things ended I would be moving on the next day because I loved having a girlfriend. During that time, one thing I didn't do was focus on myself and bettering myself. I didn't really care much about school or work because I wanted to have time to be with my girlfriend at that time. Now that I am married I am finally taking life more serious working full time and going to school for my masters. But I always think back in the past and say to myself, what was I thinking? It sucks having to start college so late or working full time so late in life because of past relationships, I also think to myself is how did some of these girls want to be with me since I wasnt working full time or going to school. Enough about myself, but if you are in college or thinking about it I would recommend focusing on that or your career and making yourself better and stronger independently and that will make yourself better when it comes to relationships. If you need someone to talk to I am here for you, take care.
