What if I'm wrong?
Hi everyone, hope you're doing well :) So my ex girlfriend and I broke up a couple months ago, I'm the one who initiated it. My reason was mainly because she has 3 kids. I got along with them fine, but before this, I had very little experience with children. When we started dating, I didn't give it much thought because I knew I was interested in her. But as time went on, and the more time I spent around them, the more I didn't think that situation was right for me. It got to a point where I didn't really want to spend time with her kids, selfish as that may be. Going from being single most of my life to dating someone with 3 kids was absolutely terrifying and I didn't know what else to do. I know I hurt her badly. I've felt awful ever since, miss her terribly and think about her almost constantly. We got along so well, and I loved spending time with her and do care about her deeply. I've never had such a good relationship with a woman before. Recently I've been wondering if I should've tried to stick it out. Part of me thinks maybe I would've gotten used to her kids and part of me isn't so sure. I haven’t talked to her since the breakup and wouldn't try unless I was sure about being with her and accepting her family. But I don't know what to do. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe I should've stuck with it. Has anyone ever experienced a similar situation?
@sunsetsandoceans123 No Because I don't date men with kids I feel like there would be too much emotional baggage with the previous relationship, I think if you care that much about her still could try to talk to her but it all depends on if she found someone else already.
My situation wasn't similar, but I will offer you some insight as I just recently dated a woman with three kids and had no choice but to break up with her for reasons I won't get into. A woman in that situation is more often than not investing a lot of time in herself, her kids and very likely you. Its not easy for someone in that situation to put themselves out there from both the standpoint of both their heart and the time commitment, but she did that for you. Children are a challenge and it is never easy to be thrown immediately into a parent type role without having some experience with kids. But the relationship you build with them is also rewarding. You may have not been ready for it, but some day you might be. If you are reconsidering a relationship with her (big if because she may never be able to put down her walls again for you), tread lightly, start slow and be very honest with her. Ask for her help, her insight and what she wants you to be to her children. Be prepared for her to tell you to go away. If you feel that you can once again try and make a commitment, and she hasn't told you to go away, be prepared to make a huge effort to show you are committed to her. Know what her love language is and know how you can fit into her life. Take burdens from her, be dependable, be responsible and thoughtful. Be patient. Good luck to you.
