Uncertain where to start

@wendilin91015

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

Hi. I'm looking for advice. I've been with my hubby for 29 years, married for 24. We have no kids, so that's not an issue, but we have nothing in common anymore, (This is usually a sign that the marriage faded a long time ago, but you both decided to stay together because of certain fears) I feel nothing when I look at him, (This is a very key sign a marriage needs end because it just feels like two friends living together. One of the few reasons people stay when they feel nothing is out convinience, loneliness, fear of starting over and not feeling confident enough that they will be fine on their own) I am resentful of him at times, (This is a sign you have not felt loved, understood, comfortable and safe being around him, so this built resentment specially when your needs are not being met and when theres tons of unresolved issues) and we have no intimacy. And by no intimacy, I don't mean once every few weeks, I mean it's been nearly 10 years since we've been intimate, (Thats definetly rough, specially when its one of the ways two people connect. Your needs are not being met, and from the look of it things will not change) and even then it wasn't at all satisfying. (This is not a good sign because sometimes we stay with people longer than we should to avoid pain, so in this case you never really felt attracted to him. I feel like it could have been a marriage you went along with and then some time later felt different?) He does very little to help around the house, (This is a sign he expects you to do everything while he put himself into this provider role which is unfair to you) he doesn't cook at all and will only do things if I ask him to, never just on his own. (I think you tried to set boundaries here, but from the looks of it he isn't willing to respect them) I would be so much happier on my own, but I'm kind of stuck because we are in a sticky financial situation. I'm trying to get things paid off, but it's slow going.(Have you figure out a way to get things sorted out?) He has a chronic health condition and there's a lot of expenses with that, and unfortunately, we just lost almost $700 a month in income when my second job ended. A friend of mine suggested I ask for an open marriage so I can get some physical attention to make me feel a bit better, (I don't think this will help because its like putting a bandage on a big wound, it will not heal the wound. This option will only make you feel good for a bit, but then you will begin to feel the same way again. The problem has to do with the limited self belief you have, low self esteem, lack of self of love and poor boundaries. Another person can't make you feel that way unless you begin to feel better internally about those things) another told me to just pack up and leave. (This is the best option because you are not happy in this marriage, and you havent been happy and attracted to him for a very long time) I don't know the first steps to take. I feel useless because I'm always the one telling people what direction to take in their lives, but I can't figure out which way to turn in my own life.