The Unpopular Opinion: Thankful For My Parents' Divorce

Ideally, everyone wants to grow up in a well-rounded, put together family full of love and happiness, but all of us know that the reality of that is next to impossible. Even families who don't go through divorce still aren't perfect. Of course, when I personally look at my life I do wish that I could've had a solid family unit with my two biological parents; however, that never would have worked out in my situation and I'm more thankful for my divorce than anything, I cannot imagine how my life would be if they had not gotten one.

My parents got a divorce (started off as a "seperation" for one year due to state laws) when I was in the third grade, age eight. My younger sister had just started kindergarten at age 5. I didn't know a lot of the details surrounding why until much later in life, and honestly I don't recall much of my thought process regarding their divorce from when I first was told back 11 years ago. My dad was a severe alcoholic during my childhood and spent a lot of his time passed out on the floor or couch, totally incoherent. He meant well and loved us, but alcohol and drugs were more important to him (even after years of counseling), and I didn't know any different as a child. My mom had played both parental roles my entire life and I didn't even know that I was lacking; because I was so close with my mom I remember that I accepted their divorce like it was nothing because I trusted her more than anyone. My mom has told me (recently) about how many times she asked our school teachers and other adults in our lives if they noticed a change, and they all confirmed that my sister and I both seemed unaffected by the divorce. I love my dad and always have, but I guess we weren't connected enough for me to feel any loss from their divorce, besides just not physically seeing my dad everyday anymore. As I've gotten older, I've come to realize how much my mom, sister, and myself would have struggled and suffered with my dad still part of our family. We were so much better off without him, and while during my middle/high school years I did visit him every other weekend, I've grown to a point now where we occasionally do lunch and talk on the phone a few times each week, but I know that while yes he loves and cares about me, he will never quite understand how to connect and bond as a parent. His alcoholic tendancies and social lifestyle wouldn't have been easy to grow up with, and I'm thankful that I didn't have to deal with that. He was never cut out for family life, he enjoys drinking with friends and riding his motorcycle, and that's okay. I love him and accept him for who he is, I don't resent him for who he should've been because I have an awesome life and I'm super loved. My mom got all the happiness she deserved with my stepdad, who is also a wonderful addition to my life (not to mention my little half-brother!).

So, sorry for my long rant about my personal life, but I've always wondered if anyone else has had a similar situation or a similar outlook on their parents being divorced. The stigma that surrounds it doesn't have to always be true, while yes it is traumatic and heartbreaking for many people, it doesn't have to be. It's okay to be happy about it, even if it seems like something you can't or shouldn't be happy about. Often it's better for everyone involved and will result in the greatest happiness, and maybe even some new amazing family members :)