Should you delete pictures together?
I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I have in the past deleted pictures of my boyfriends when the relationship ended. This recent breakup has been difficult, even though I initiated it. Part of me doesn't want to delete the pictures I have of him on Instagram because he was my best friend and we shared so much together in the 16 months we were together. On the other hand, he was manipulative, he hurt me and the relationship went through a lot of emotional strain. Keeping these pictures seems like the wrong thing to do, but deleting them seems petty and childish. We shared time together I can't deny that. Anyone have thoughts or stories to share about this?
@amberm824 Just thoughts... you have a lot of strong (in in some cases perhaps unnecessarily judgmental?) feelings about whether or not to keep pictures. You say that keeping them would be "wrong." In what way would that seem "wrong" to you? The times you shared were a part of your life and it seems to me that it's your right to hold on to whatever mementos of that time you wish to keep, including pictures. And if you're worried about what anyone else seeing them might think, it seems to me explaining that he is your ex is all anyone could possibly ask.
You also say deleting them would be "childish and petty." Assuming what you're deleting is on an account that you own, I see nothing childish or petty about it. If the pictures make you feel bad, removing them strikes me as wise and healthy, not childish and petty!
This may seem like an unsolvable dilemma to you - as you described things, you're forced either to be "childish and petty" or to do something "wrong." You might want to think about why you framed things this way. If you had a friend going through a similar breakup would you say she was wrong if she kept old pictures? Would you say she was childish and petty if she decided she didn't want the pictures anymore? Perhaps you can find ways to be a friend to yourself in the way you talk about this situation and your understandably mixed feelings about the pictures.
@amberm824
There is a middle way. You can bury them in an obscure file on the cloud. You can put them on a thumb drive, stick it in a shoe box or an evelope with a letter of what you'd like to say, and leave it with someone you trust but don't live with. Just ideas. Sorry you're hurting. It will get better.