She meant so much to me

@sensitiveSugar8860

I'm posting this here because I don't know where else would fit better.

The thing is we weren't fully in a relationship...

So this girl and I had met a while back and knew and liked each other for a long time. We basically have all the same interests and are very similar personality-wise. A few months back we got to talking and we established that we do actually like each other a bit more than friends, but we were both a bit weary of getting ahead of ourselves due to individual past experiences. So we took things slow. We went on dates together, started writing more frequently.(So far it seems like you both connected well and began exploring the possibility of something more) Here comes the problem. My mind decided to view all of this as if we truly already were in a relationship. I started loving her more and more and I started to make plans in my head of how our future would look (there were some issues that would have come up down the road so I started thinking about possible solutions). All was going well, but no talk of a full relationship because we had agreed so. (So based upon what you understood of each other, you mutually agreed that a relationship wasn't on the cards at this time) From one day to the next she tells me she met someone else (she honestly told you that the possibility you both had been exploring was done, she had met someone that she wanted to pursue a relationship with) and my world just crumbles. This was a week ago now and I'm still in a bad shape. (Sorry to hear that it came as such a shock to you, but well done on being fair with all your analysis. It's really difficult in your situation) I really did love her with all my heart and for once in a long time, I was actually happy. I loved being around her and spending time with her and I was so sure she loved it as well. She seemed to feel bad about what happened because feelings can't be controlled and she really wishes to remain friends. (She enjoyed being your friend. It's just the relationship aspect that doesn't appeal to her) This kind of situation has happened multiple times to me before, each worse than the last, so I told her I need some time and distance between us in order to heal and collect myself. (Absolutely right, if you need to take a few steps back then do so until you feel comfortable again) I'm trying to get better but whenever I'm not focused my mind wanders to how happy I was with her and then the doubt, fear and anger of her being with someone else she only just met (She has her own yardstick for her decision. We can't control or force her choices or question her reasons for it. We can only understand that this is the end of that possibility which we had been exploring) ...Should I write her? Fight for her? Wait for her? I really want to be with her and spend as much time possible with her (She has made it clear she cares for you as a friend so it depends on whether you are okay to accept that status), but I don't want to make things worse for myself either...

@0m Thank you for your response! I agree with all of your comments except the last part, but that's on me. I left out a bit of context because I didn't know how to phrase it in a way that I'm not talking bad about her, becasue I really don't want to do that. But she can be...impulsive...at times, as I've learned. Quickly switiching from one thing to the next or deciding on something and then refusing to step back an reevaluate for a time. So that's where my doubts about how strongly I should accept this come from. I don't know if she's "just" being impulsive and it'll blow over because the whole thing between us had been going on for a while now and that she would go back to that, in a way. But again, I don't know and I really do want to respect her choice, but on the other hand, I don't know if I gave up too quickly

@sensitiveSugar8860

With the shock you've had I think it's absolutely right for you to take care of yourself for now. Step back and allow yourself to recover from the current shock. You haven't ended the friendship, just asked for space to process everything.

@0m Yeah, I'll do that. I've been able to stay friends after somethint like this before, so I should be able to do it