Relationship over because of my depression and social anxiety
I have been depressed for many years, but for the last 2 it has been particularly intense.
Over the last 3 months I have become so withdrawn that it started to affect my partner negatively and understandably so, he didn't understand my issues or where they came from although I think he tried, and I suppose I pushed him away while I was struggling to focus on just getting through the day. I know he felt sad that he couldn't make me happy.
So yesterday we had an argument and he told me it's over, and that he didn't feel loved for the last few months.
I tried to explain I was sorry and that my depression had overwhelmed and consumed me and I knew I should have tried to open up to him but I felt frozen, numb, and strange.
I feel a sadness at the loss of my best friend but at the moment I know we are probably too different to get through this together, although we love each other. I feel consumed by guilt at the moment too for the way I made him feel but I can't change it.
I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest and see if anyone else has ended up pushing someone they love away due to their depression and extreme introversion.
Thanks for reading
@CactusQueen Honey, I am so sorry you are hurting due to Depression and Social Anxiety, and also that now you are hurting worse because of how they assisted in the demise of your partnership. I think this is a problem many of us who deal with mood disorders face. Whether we find our relationships challenged due to our moods, fears, or emotional/mental struggles, or we actively push others away to "save them" from us or the dangers we pose to their well-being, it seems to happen all too often in our friendships, families, and romances.
Even when we enter into friendships and partnerships with an open mind, a healthy emotional state, and clear communication lines, they inevitably seem to get broken along the way. Of course, communication is always key. But, we all know that when we begin to struggle with our diseases, that is the first thing to shut down. When we have been open with others about our issues, and they appear to understand them, there is also a limit to how well they can deal with long depressive phases, or manic upswings in Bipolar disorders, or suicidal impulses for those who have them. It's not always their fault to fail at being relied upon that heavily to hold us up any more than it is ours to be burdened with what breaks things down in the first place.
I'm pretty much rambling here. Woke up WAY too early this morning. What I am trying to say is that the key here is communication, but that even that fails.
Once again, queen, I am terribly sorry you are in this painful situation, and I wish you some peace from your struggles.
@ladylazarus1971 thank you so much for your thoughts and words, they have really resonated and are so true which is comforting. How has your weekend been so far?
@CactusQueen Glad to make your aquaintance! I have had a challenging weekend, but am trying to turn that around today. I hope you are feeling at least stable, and that you can find some moments of peace and beauty as you continue to heal. <3