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Not sure how to act when I see my ex again

yellowrosie September 2nd, 2015
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So, my ex cheated on me in our bed. I found everything out 3 weeks after he dumped me. The worst thing is that he made me believe he loved me and wanted us to keep the joint account, after we broke up. All that while he was bringing someone to our house when I was at work. He painted himself as this poor, lost soul so that he could use me and manipulate my feelings for him. I'll be seeing him constantly since we're in the same grad program. I hate him with all my being, but I want to appear completely indifferent. I want to ignore him completely because I will never let him have power over me again. Any tips on how to control my negative emotions? I am full of rage and fire.

Thanks for all your help!

5
braveSugar7964 September 2nd, 2015
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That's gonna be quite a challenge ahead of you. I can't think of any tips, yet, but good luck, Rosie. I'll try and work out some ways to help.

QJane2 September 3rd, 2015
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Your anger is completely normal.

How about exercise to get some of that out? You will feel better and look good!

The best revenge is living a good life. Yoy ex guy has deep issues, broken inside. I know it's hard to see this but you dodged a bullet. You saw who he is and got out now.

yellowrosie OP September 3rd, 2015
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Thanks! I signed up for kickboxing classes, so I'll see how it goes. I can see who he really is. Finding out he was cheating on me was the best thing that happened to me in that relationship. I will be seeing him a lot, and I'm not sure how to cope with that. Just thinking about him makes me sick. I don't want to appear weak in front of him or our friends. Any tips on how to control my emotions?

ivoryBlueberry1979 September 3rd, 2015
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Don't let him rule your thoughts. Instead look beyond him and the achievement you will gain from the programme. Concentrate on yourself and your success. You had a lucky escape and you are very strong.

RainOrShine September 3rd, 2015
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Hi Yellowrosie, I am sorry you are in this difficult situation.

I think when you start thinking in terms of what you want him and those around you to think of you, you will start to put pressure on yourself. You are NOT weak for being hurt by what he did to you. We are all humans after all, we get hurt. These days we have a notion that we should not be sad for anything and we should just move on as fast as we can. But the healthy way to move on is to face the monsters head on. So, take the time to heal *hugs*

Just know that the first day or week will be difficult. And once you establish the new normal, there will be difficult times that might pop up every now and again. Maybe have a little exercise to do when you feel hatred. If you have a journal, make an entry every time you feel hurt or sad looking at him. Maybe write down everything you are grateful for.

When times are tough, like this, I prefer reading a positive book. Nothing too big, but some sort of positive message and empowering book. Every time I feel I can't "deal" with it, I read the book and usually after few pages of positivity, I feel in an OK state to deal with the situation. So, pick the book that speaks to you.

Last but not the least, remember - this too shall pass.