No Contact - struggling with missing him
My ex and I have been broken up for three weeks now. His choice, not mine. This past weekend he sent me a Venmo for $20 from his sister for Christmas, and that same day I talked to a mutual friend about how I’d just like to talk to him. He texted me hours later and told me not to talk to his friends, or family ever again. So I made the decision to block him. Yesterday he left a laptop I let him use by my apartment door, and because he realized he was blocked...sent me an email to let me know. I wish I didn’t have these feelings of missing him randomly throughout the day. I feel like no contact is the best thing for me and I feel like I need to worry about me now, but I still struggle with letting go.
Heartbreak is a painful feeling. My son is going through it now and me as his mother I feel heartbroken too. I tell him to try to forget her but it’s easier said then done. I feel for you I really do. No one likes to hear it. But time is what you need. It gets better with time. For him it’s been 12 days . I hope you know you can get through it.
I'm sorry he left you but if he was worth with it he wouldn't of left you like this. You need to move on because there's no point in wasting time on people who won't take the time to appreciate what they have. It's gonna hurt but it's his loss not yours.
I’m sure there are many people out there who can still talk to each other even after a breakup. I find them courageous. But personally, I think no contact is always easier to move on. I’m sure you are trying hard and it’s a difficult period, which I as well went thru and still going thru, especially he still sometimes pops up around you. As time go by, maybe weeks, maybe months, I hope you will get better and ready to let go of him, with a smile on your face. *hugsss*
Sigh, I’m doing no contact right now. We broke up 2 months after the fight. She said that she can’t get over the mean things I said. I showered this girl with flowers and gifts. Showed her affection and was appreciative. I even did therapy and read books on communication and relationships and clearly changed for the better. I always tried to desescalate a situation. What’s strange, is that she gave me the impression that she was super happy after the argument, for the rest of December and January. Out of the blue she broke it off. Now I obsess over every little thing I did, as I try to reasses what went wrong. Was I too affectionate and apologized too much and subconsciously became less attractive to her. I know that I can’t call or msg her or else it will end up the same way. I think we’re in the same situation in terms of what our ex’s are feeling. Keep with no contact. Don’t contact any friends, family. Stay on social media but mute their profile. Only good things will come from no contact, he msgs you or you get over him. Keep at it!
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation as I know how difficult this is seeing I’m going through it too. I think our situations are more similar than you may think. I’ve done two years of therapy now. Both individual and couples. The last argument we had, I stuck to the suggestions of the therapist as well as him when it comes to handling conflict. I was told, if he requests time to think then respect that and don’t push. Also, sometimes it’s just best to apologize without giving an explanation. I did both of those, only to be left in the dust. What hurts the most right now is having so many daily reminders, and this feeling of wishing he’d be the one to reach out and admit his wrongs. Admit that he misses me and wants to try and be better. But I also know that staying in a place of false hope will hinder my recovery. I appreciate your words of wisdom. I know that no contact is the only way for me to heal, I just wish it wasn’t so dang hard some days. Thank you!