My ex is killing me

@Shadowgirl09

Let it go. You're very damaged emotionally. And he knows that. He's texting you when is convinient and when you bring the subject up he treats you really badly.

Sometimes we have to fight against impulses because of our sadness and fight against your heart. We have to trust your brain and instincts. Deep down I think you know the answer to this. You need to move on and block him everywhere if needed. Leave him in the past because he isn't providing any good to your life

@Shadowgirl09

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I really need some advice on my current situation: I broke up with my boyfriend because after three years togheter he still wasn't ready for marriage but I wanted to and I felt like he was never going to be ready so I left him. (This sounds like he was not ready to make that kind of commitment, but you were ready to make this commitment so it makes sense why you decided to end the relationship). Leaving him wasn't easy for me beacuse I really loved him but thinking that he didn't want to get married and thinking that he was just "playing" me (I don't know if he was actually "playing you", but often we tend to perceive the wrong perception of someone else actions and words, and then we begin to internalize it by saying "He is playing me" when theres a lot of depression and anxiety involved). caused me depression that lasted 6 months (His decision to not marry you caused this? or was it something else?) and then I decided to leave him cause I couldn't stand feeling sad and alone even though we were togheter. (This tells me you were feeling disconnected, neglected, and abandoned by him, so this might make you feel its as if he is a threat to you on an unconcious level).

So i broke up with him and anxiety joined the party, so I was feeling sad and anxious by this point. (Its understandable, it was not an easy decision to make). I started seeing a therapist (a couple of month before the break up) and I'm currently working on my issues to try and feel better.

The problem is him. After the break up he kept writing me saying that he was thinking about our situation to try and find a solution, (He was definetly feeling the anxiety after the breakup, it must had been a high one. He is definetly trying to calm down his level of anxiety by contacting you, it sounds like he has been having a hard time dealing with the breakup). but then everytime I would bring up the subject he would yell at me. (The way he is yelling at you is a way to impose what he thinks, to get you to do what he wants. He learned and saw how yelling is a form to get his needs met, and it also communicates he has a hard time regulating his own emotions). I stopped writing him back and he got mad but then started to writing me less and less at least. (He was feeling separation anxiety, felt like was going to get abandoned or replaced so he started to to feel angry, and had the need to communicate it on an effort to pull you closer. The way he got mad has nothing to do with you though). The I wrote him one day because I was feeling sad and missing him, needless to say that it was a big mistake. (In here you were the one who felt separation anxiety when he backed away from you). He treated me very badly and I ended up not aswering to his accusation. (He was rude and disrespectful, I'm glad you didn't respond to what he said).

At this point I also had a couple of dates but things aren't so great overall, so two days ago when he writes again asking how I was I was strong and didn't answer. (I don't blame you for not replying, you deserve to be treated with respect and love). But this morning I woke up to find another text where he said that he just wanted to know how I was given that some time had passed. (He is feeling anxiety again, in here he is only focused on what he wants without seeing the way you are not responding to his messages. He's on his own world to the point he can't read cues that you don't want to talk with him).I didn't answer to this one either but I found myself crying all day today, (Its understandable, it has been difficult to get better when he keeps messaging you) I feel sad and alone and angry at him because I dont' understand why would he keep writing me when I ask him time and time again not to. (He feels a lot of anxiety, becomes self-absorbed, and then you become like an object to reduce his level of anxiety. There's a chance he might not stop though) He's slowly killing me inside. (I don't think he has the power to do this, however the breakup its something that has been very painful to handle)