Mental Illness Ruined Relationship
I was the one who ended my relationship, but I have cried every day. I've even had chances - so many - to undo what I did. But I never do.
I think I ended it because I was having panic attacks all the time. And pmdd. I would be so angry and negative one week, then lovey dovey the next.
My friends and therapist have told me not to go back to him. That I'm codependent. That I was miserable.
But the world has completely ended since. I wish I were healthy. And I wish none of this would have happened.
I feel I ruin mine everyday :(
@Mindfulme42
I think you just think you have ruined it. As they say there are always a next time :D.
You might have done something bad today but I am pretty sure you have also did good. You might have gaines something too :D.
@Mindfulme42
you are important and valuable we all make mistakes I have felt that way to .. It starta with loving yourself for who you are it doesn't matter what others think unless it is consructive criticism which helps to but you up You are important in this world there is only on of you among trillions tha make you very unique 😊
You're not alone. My ex broke up with me for my mental health problems last summer. The worst thing is I don't even know this for sure, but it's apparently what he told my friends, and I've seen those chats, but I don't know if there was more to it or not... Either way, y'all are not alone and I understand how much this hurts... You just wish you didn't have those problems and stuff and you try very hard not to think of yourself as flawed and unlovable because of those perceived flaws... Truth is, we are worthy of being loved, and we were loved, and we will be again. The most important thing is that we love and forgive ourselves. We did not choose to have these problems or to feel this way about ourselves and we definitely do not "ruin" our relationships on purpose... Forgive yourself for your struggles. You are loved and never truly alone. I promise. 
Idk what to do. I don't want to drag my gf down with my depression. I want to be with her forever she is my forever girl.I'm in love with her,but I feel like my depression gets in the way of that a lot and triggers things. She understand I go through things. She trys so hard for me.I don't want to loose her. She's all I have. Were getting married one day. I get jealous , and have a short tempered at times. I just want her to know that I don't want my depression to get the best of her. I want her. I love her. And she loves me. I don't what to do. I don't want my metal illness to get in the way or things that seem so beautiful to me. I overthink so much. Help!
@deaddpoool I am going through something very similar. You are not alone. Remember no matter what she isn't in your head, she can't know what you feel and won't understand why you feel so intense. It's yours to carry. You have to let her help when she chooses to, don't ask for it. I used to think that being with someone would help cure my depression but it won't. The best advice I've ever gotten was tell yourself you are ok. Say it. "I am ok, right now I am ok." Emotions can be habit forming. Depression is an addiction. You have to fight it. Pretend it is an imaginary demon and kill it. Sometimes I believe talking about my depression is a symptom of my depression, so talking about it is sharing my depression and not moving on from it. I have learned keeping it to myself helps. You have forums like this and people like me reading and your depression is meaningless to me because I'm just some random dude I'm the internet. You have support and can be ok.
