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niceAcai9918
646 M Embraced 5
PathStep 26 Compassion hearts31 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes22 Current upvotes22 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2017 Member sinceJanuary 23, 2016
Recent forum posts
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Depression Support / by niceAcai9918
Last post
 September 21st, 2016
...See more I have been doing much better. Lots of therapy. Lots of learning about myself. I respond better to unhealthy thoughts, my inner adult takes charge more often when I need her. Therapist said I wasn't in crisis mode anymore - we've moved to preventative. And it's been going better. But lately I've been having cryfits again. Spending lots of time alone in the dark again. Not taking care of myself. Casual dark thoughts never left. It was just "so this is what it's like to be functioning - not enough." I don't feel good. I don't know how to say to my therapist that my toes are in the water of another breakdown. I don't know how to say I'm tired and don't want to fight. I keep pushing but the cracks keep getting bigger. I don't know. I just don't know
What's wrong with me?
Trauma Support / by niceAcai9918
Last post
 April 18th, 2016
...See more I broke up with him because he dismissed my "no"s and pushed me. Guilted me. I felt worthless if I didn't...I felt like if I didn't we would fight and he would break up with me. And we had this talk so many times. And he'd say all the right things but we'd go back to it again. I would fall apart, he would comfort me, then try again. Every encounter started a panic. It's my fault. It's been months and I still cry every day because I miss him. But I'm also terrified of him. I can't tell anyone because I want him back and my friends/family would hate him. But I don't think he was intentionally trying to hurt me. I'm confused and hurting
Mental Illness Ruined Relationship
Relationship Stress / by niceAcai9918
Last post
 April 19th, 2016
...See more I was the one who ended my relationship, but I have cried every day. I've even had chances - so many - to undo what I did. But I never do. I think I ended it because I was having panic attacks all the time. And pmdd. I would be so angry and negative one week, then lovey dovey the next. My friends and therapist have told me not to go back to him. That I'm codependent. That I was miserable. But the world has completely ended since. I wish I were healthy. And I wish none of this would have happened.
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