I want to move on...but I can't.
Hello everyone, my name is Lucy. I was with a man for 10 years, met when we were 16. We had good days and bad days. But the final 2 years were bad, never went out..had no interest in each other. He was always on the PC or just left me at home while he went out with his mates. Sometimes when we argued (which was always about us not doing anything together) he used to say the most awful, hurtful things.
New Years Day I had to end things, he went out without me and whenhe came back home there were flirty messages to another woman on his phone. I had to stand up for myself and draw a line.
The first 3 months when we were seperated, he did come over...used me for one thing and I let him. I couldn't believe we let our relationship turn into something sordid and secretative. Only when I said i didn't want that anymore did he stop contacting me. From what i saw and heard he started going out alot more and doing things..I thought "why only now?! I wanted to do those things with him..wasn't I worth it?".
A few weeks ago i learnt that he moved on. He came round today to pick up the last of his things. It was hard, he cried, I cried. Saw a photo of them together which I wish i didn't see, she's a young, slim blonde girl. Very pretty. Apparently she's very kind and sweet. Anyway....
I'm finding it so hard to think things can get better for me. Why am i the one to suffer? I feel like i am the one who is being punished for ending things. I have no friends, I literally have to start from rock bottom. This is so unfair.
That's a hurtful story :(..I'm going to be honest with you. You know it's hard to forget someone you love especially when this love started at young age but try to make a new start, you may not be able to forget him and live with scars but start anew. Do changes , do things that makes you feel good and forget about this pain. You cannot change what happened before but you can change the present. Do something for yourself, you may find someone who worthies your love in the future, don't give uo on love..Don't let a person take you down because of his bad actions. He lost something precious. Make a new start , if you really want to move on you can do it ♥ Don't give up~
Hey, hey, hey, slow down. 10 years of being with someone definitely isn't a little thing. I understood that he moved on if you were together for like, a month or something, but heeey, 10 years!
You think he forgot you ? I don't think so. I think she still thinks you're one really hot and one really good person, because he wouldn't been with you for so long if it wasn't like that.
You know, relationships, friendships, ANYTHING, don't last forever. People just move on, that's a fact, and we are here just to get used to it, and yup emotions are making it f**king harder but hey, we're still trying, right ?
When I dated a guy, he did the same stuff. He loved every atom of me literally, he loved me more than I loved him. And he did the same stuff. And you know why he did it ? He did it to forget me.
I have clues, but it would be a long post and I don't want to bother you with that.
But I'm sure you're DEFINITELY not the only one who's suffering. It's a big thing that happened to you, heyyyy, it's okay to suffer! And guys like guys... They're just like that.
Try to accept it. Now you live a new life, without him. You need to organize it, to find some hobbies, to be dedicated to them. Why you don't party and go out too ? What's stopping you ? Some s**pid guy ? NO! You are a WOMEN, and we don't give up that fast.
Fight. For your life. For forgetting.
What's stopping you from getting a new partner too ?
What's stopping you from doing so many things for yourself that would help you actually to see how much you can live better without him ?
If he left you - he's a piece of bulls**t. And that's how you need to think. Okay ? You're worthy more than that. And that's why you need to create a life too, and have some fun. Why is he the only one who is literally, allowed(?!) to have fun ?! Don't do that to yourself.
YOU. ARE. MORE. IMPORTANT. IN. YOUR. LIFE. FOR. YOURSELF. THAN. HE. IS. !!!!!!
And never, ever forget that. Okay ? Never. I hope you'll get something useful from this advice, or this site in general.
And like the Mufasa says to Simba.... "Never forget who you are...." - that's what I'm telling you now.
Hugsssss, alexlove
thanks so much for your replies. I'm still finding it very hard. I wanna do stuff and have fun but having no friends makes it harder to do. I will try and find apart time job somewhere in a store so i can meet new people.
Just feeling sorry for myself i guess. Feel like life is treating me really unfairly.
i think u have a sad story , i think that u deserve better . i know it is hard for you to move on and i understand you really well . dont worry future is there u just need time , as i saw in your story u are a very strong woman . think about all the good times u had together someone didnt even had that chance to be with the one they love . you are not the only one who suffers like this believe me , i hope my advice will be helpful for u and wont make u feel worse .
I'm sorry about your story.
My suggestion is dont try too hard to put the person completely out of your mind. If you think of the person occasionally its OK to feel a pang of loneliness, but dont let that feeling remain. Youre likely to feel a good deal better about yourself if you recognize that you miss that person and that youre getting on with your life quite fine. Dont let hope or denial get in your way. Just let the person fade from your life gradually and gracefully.