Is it me, him, or us? Please help! :'(
I consider myself to have been emotionally and verbally abused by my mother and younger sister. I never learned how to stick up for myself because if I did, I was considered a brat or b-ch but if I didn't- couldn't, then I was a wuss. I am already an overdramatic and emotional person with depression, anxiety, and ocd. My bf of over 1yr knows this. While i am stubborn and cry easily he is hypocritical, but despises that word. Today i got upset because his brother insulted me and then walked away but i wasnt supported by my bf - he assumed i wouldn't care even though I'm a listener and that's who i am. So i got upset at him for not caring about my feelings and my anger kind of pooled over from his brother to him and i lightly punched him in the chest (i say lightly because I'm small and could barely hurt anyone). I think he may be right to say that I'm abusive because when my sister attacks me sometimes i can only fight back physically. I'm not too good with words to begin with. My parents never hit me though - my mom just theeatened to hit me and almost did a couple of times is all. How do we fix this? Please help. I'm tired of feeling like I can't defend myself and when i do, it was the wrong thing to do.
@Elinxs27
I'd say the majority of time where physical violence is used, it's a way of taking back control of a situation where you feel powerless. From what you wrote, it sounds like that may be the case. One of the things I need to stress is, whether or not you are capable of "actual physical harm", it's important to never resort to physical violence (this applies to both men and women). It not only leaves you feeling remorseful afterwards, but also causes guilt and shame for being upset about something very understandable. That's certainly not what you want when you feel unheard! 
With that being said, I understand your hurt and frustration over the situation. I know you asked in the title if it was you, him or both in the wrong, but I feel placing blame on either of you/both of you, won't resolve the internal conflicts of feeling unheard (which sounds lIke the catalyst behind the explosive frustration). The thing is, you can be wrong for your actions and still have valid reasons for the feeling behind it. Feeling and acting upon said emotion, does not invalidate the other. It only means you need to find different ways of healthily expressing your emotions.
If I may, I recommend trying out the self help courses here. Managing emotions may be a good place to start. I think instead of trying to place blame on yourself, perhaps you need to start finding ways of expressing yourself and feeling heard. You deserve to feel listened to and I hope you're able to find the tools in order to receive it.
Good luck and take care! xx
