I'm through with this crap (Mature rant)

(Cussing ahead)

I'm so tired of thinking "it'll get better" but it won't. It's not ever going to happen. I agreed on this adult relationship with him and when it's just flirting and sex, it doesn't make me feel good as I thought it would. It makes me feel even worse. I wanted more, I knew that, but I thought this would be enough. It's not. It won't ever be. If i wanted this, I would write this myself. I could write all the fantasies I want and when I wanted to talk and have fun last night, he just suddenly went offline ignoring my message. I know he must've seen it. He knows who I am, we were together for 4 years in the past.

So a big fuck you to him. I'm so sick of this shit, this only feeling good relationship that I shouldn't have even considered a relationship. It shows that all he wants is to feel good.

I'm going to ignore you, even if it fucking pains me since we're friends. You clearly don't give a shit to message back, so why should I give you the time of my day sending you a simple message? Why should I keep caring about you when you don't even care about me? You don't even ask about me unless I mention it. All you care is about FEELING GOOD and not me as a person.

No more. I am done. I don't need you as much as I want you.