I'm just feeling really down now
I was in a sort of situationship for about 2, months with a guy I've had a crush on for years, he's a few years older than me. A few weeks ago I was joking around and told him I wouldn't talk to him, then he called and I muted the call for a few minutes before disconnecting. Apparently, I took that joke too far and he didn't talk to me for 2 days, when he did, he was upset and once I understood that, I apologized and told him I was sorry for upsetting him and that I didn't understand how it was wrong but I'd try to and I wouldn't let that happen again. He said that wasn't enough and that he had nothing more to say to me unless I understood how wrong it was. 2 weeks later I apologized again and told him I'm still trying to understand but don't want to lose him because I don't and he told me once again that it wasn't enough. We haven't talked since then. I miss him so much and it hurts a lot to lose him even though I'll get through this. I just hate that I've put so much effort into this relationship we had and he didn't even care. It hurts that he weighed everything we had with a mistake I made and thought that wasn't enough. Before we got close I was constantly the one trying to get close to him and texting. I was always trying to consider his feelings when I did something. So how could he not at least acknowledge the effort I made? Why was that not enough for him? Did he even value what we had if he let go so easily? Especially when I know that I would try harder if he has hurt me. I know he must have his reasons but I'm so tired of feeling tossed around and like I'm not worth much to people I care about and him telling me my effort wasn't enough was a huge blow for me. I really just wish he would come back and I could tell him how I felt and how he hurt me but it doesn't look like he will and now I feel really alone without him.
Your "joke' was misunderstood. Perhaps he thought it was disrespectful. You said he's older. Perhaps acknowledge that you understand that possibility. I only suggest that since you do still care. On the flip side, you may not be suited for someone so obstinate and cold hearted. Take the lesson and run???
I do acknowledge that possibility, I let him know that. But just to clear it up, while the call was muted I sent him funny GIFs but it was misunderstood entirely. I definitely don't blame him for being upset or needing time, I didn't invalidate his feelings either but cutting me off seemed a bit much, people are all different though. But your suggestion is not a bad idea. I've kind of made the decision to just let whatever happens to happen and move on. Right now I'm just going through the process of missing him. Thank you though