I hate him.
Yeah I know the deal, I know what I want and don't want in a relationship. I know that I should not chase after someone who clearly has very little respect for me and my feelings, etc etc.
I don't think I've ever hated someone so much before I knew him. I still wish I never knew him and I wish bad things to happen to him. Can't help it, I still hurt. I don't really care what anyone thinks and I am aware it's not right to wish bad things to happen to people. I don't want to get into what he did to me, but if I explained maybe some of you would understand my anger.
Yes I am doing things I enjoy, still making art, about to graduate, etc. But the memories haunt me even when I'm doing things I love
Hypnosis, I think hatred is a really common feeling after a break up. It's important to acknowledge the anger and appreciate why you are angry.
Things will get better with time and I'm sure you'll find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve :)
Claire
Hello, hypnosis,
I'm so very sorry this happened. It's rotten to go through a painful breakup. It hurts so much!! When we open up to another person and become vulnerable, and then they walk away with indifference or even betray us! the pain is immense. Overwhelming.
It sounds like you are working hard to recover from it: doing creative things you enjoy and focusing on graduation. Good for you!
The pain of a loss like this, I'm sorry to say, takes time to heal. To grieve. I agree with Claire that it's important to acknowledge the grief and feel it and work through it (rather than try to ignore it and detour around it). And I think youre facing it and working through it.
It still haunts you? Of course it does, and it will for a while. Grief and recovery take time, and its painful—it just IS. I hope you can continue to focus on the good things in your life as the wound heals. 
And also, this might help--there is a 7 Cups guide on surviving a breakup. I think its pretty good, and you can find it here:
http://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/
There is also a good course on acceptance and managing pain. Also, I would be happy to talk with you one-to-one. Maybe, after a while, we could talk about the hatred and the anger if you want. I have found that these emotions can power us through the initial shock and pain, but if they persist for a long time, I find they can cripple us--or at least slow us down in life. But no matter what, you're ot alone. I'm on your side.
If you want to connect with me, you can click on my name below or click on my profile picture of the sheltering tree. Or you can find me at
http://www.7cups.com/ListenerDetails/Annie/
My heart goes out to you. I know what this terrible loss can feel like. All of us at 7 Cups are here to support you.
* not alone :-)
