I don't want to suffer this pain
My ex and I tried seeing each other again and he admits that he was trying to regain some feelings for me again. But he said it doesn't feel the same and that he's going through his kind of party phase, etc. I feel so broken all over again. I can't imagine being friends because I feel so much for him. It hurts so much, this year has been going terribly and I don't want to suffer this pain.
@FallingCrescent. Please hang in there. The hurt won't always be as fresh and painful as now. Realistically you've had to begin grieving the relationship all over again because there was some hope you might get back together. I know it's terribly painful, but just hang on.
@istra
I can't handle this pain, it hurts so much. All l can think about is him and how much I want to be with him. He said it was never anything I did but I wish I did better so that perhaps it wouldn't have resulted to this.
I can't see myself being just friends with him, all I would be able to think about is how much I want him. I've basically been non-stop crying. I've been talking to a couple of my friends but I feel if I talk too much about it that I'll bother them.
I don't want to be alone, I want to be surrounded by my friends and of course him.
@FallingCrescent If after all you feel for him, he somehow feels its not the same and says he is going through 'a party phase' odds are that there isnt anything you could have done to prevent it. May I ask his age and your country of origin?
Incidentally, who is suggesting that you just be friends? Im from the USA, so there may be different expectations, but usually there is too much grieving to be done at first, and seeing the other person just rips the wound open again.
@istra
He's 19 and I live in and am Australian. He kind of suggested to be friends but I was the one saying how I can't be friends because I don't just want to be a friend to him. He said that if I feel that way then that's how it is. I can't imagine that even happening after some time has passed because I'll probably still feel the same for him even then. I can't handle the thought of him not being in my life at all, but I want different things and that's to be with him.
@FallingCrescent
This is new and the grief is raw. I know you can't imagine it right now, but you really won't feel this way forever. I know. I've felt the same way in the past. Singing Dido, crying. It feels like it will never slack its intensity or end -- except it will.
Be gentle with yourself in your grief. It is painful but neccessary. And to show yourself as much love as possible.
