Hurt the one I love

I've been with my partner for 6 years and he knows about my past , my abusive relationship and my anxiety problems and I thought I'd finally found true happiness . But because of my past I have trouble with over thinking and I blow things out of proportion resulting in me losing it big time and saying and doing things I don't mean . My partner has put up with so much of this from me but now I've pushed him to far and he's had enough .He won't talk to me at all . I've text him to try to explain but I don't even know if he's read them . It feels like my heart is breaking because I know I've hurt him but I love him so much . I just don't know what to do , I feel so lost ....