How to Stop Feeling Awkward? Halp ;-;
Soooo I've actually been chatting with this wonderful guy for more than a year. We met in an online forum, and at the time I had a bf and he was kinda like... my love consultant of some sort x'D
I broke up with my bf on September. And this guy I'm friend with... well, I start to develop feelings for him.
He's funny, interesting, smart, sweet, caring, and is just an awesome person in general. I just admire him so much.
At first I thought it was just admiration. But then I started getting awkward when we were chatting. I mean, we have never met, but online relationship is a real thing, rite, and my feelings is genuine.
I don't know what I want, I like him so much, but we're separated thousands of miles and I don't even know whether the feelings is reciprocated or not!
Moreover, I know he used to like his female college friend he used to hang out with, and she likes him a lot, and has met with his family, went on a prom date with him, etc. He never mentions her name lately, and once when I asked whether she was doing great he told me yes, but didn't elaborate. He usually told me things he did to prank her lol he's just a real prankster.
I'm kinda wondering whether he starts to not like her.... although maybe it's just my wishful, selfish thinking ;-;
I mean, I feel like I am not ready for a relationship, but I kept blurting out how much I like/admire him and flirted unconsciously. I REALLY didn't mean it but I'm like an open book, what should I do? D'x
@aquaThestral2929
The first thing to think about is whether you want a relationship with him and if you could tolerate a long distance relationship. If that's a yes, then maybe discuss with him what he thinks of LDRs. There's probably a good chance that he likes you too, but you could always ask how he views your relationship and if he thinks it could lead to more. :)
@SilentSerenityy
Hi Serene! Thank you so much for replying, I really appreciate this :')
I'm pretty sure I don't wanna be in a relationship for the time being, and I know he doesn't either. Both of us aren't interested in dating at the moment, or marriage--at least for now.
But, it's hard for me to hide my feelings. As I said, I'm like an opened book. I really wanna stop being awkward, I don't understand why I'm always like this to all the guys I liked. I mean, I was a cool, casual friend at the beginning but I turned annoyingly clingy and passionate whenever I found out I liked them ._.
And omg no matter how much I wish he likes me too, I don't even wanna think of the possibility. It's too good to be true....
@aquaThestral2929
I think it's normal to show your interest in someone, it's okay to show you like them. :) I'm sure you're not awkward or anything, otherwise they wouldn't want to talk to you!
@SilentSerenityy
Hi! Just a little update ;)
I confessed I liked him and left WhatsApp for a month (he begged me to stay but I said I couldn't talk to him for the time being 'cause I didn't want it to distract me from my bachelor thesis).
When I was back, I thought I was ready to move on. Buuut then we started talking again and he was like three times sweeter than he used to.
We've been flirting and joking around a lot, but we both don't have any intention of dating at the moment. Too much drama and we're focusing on our education now. Just enjoying each other's company as friends.
Best thing ever. He's very special to me, so I don't wanna rush this since he lives an ocean away and small chance for an LDR to work out anyway. Very different family background as well. I just enjoy talking to him so much. He's very inspiring and positive and he makes me want to do my best in everything.
I never regret confessing and I'd like to enjoy everything for now without any lovey-dovey stuffs.
Thanks for your previous advice, Serene :') Much appreciated <3
@aquaThestral2929 ah sorry, didn't read this before :p
@tupolevski
Lol it's okay! XD
Well, not yet, but maybe in the future. I hope we can get serious eventually.
Of course, there are a lot of issues I need to tackle first, so still a long way to go 'till we'll be able to be together. Pray for us, buddy!! Thank you~~
@aquaThestral2929 Indeed, no problem, but I just wondering when I pray like this: "O Allah SWT the great and merciful, I wish 'she someone I don't know her name' can get her crush 'that I also doesn't know the name of her crush too' in a serious relationship until marriage. Amen" and then The God was like 'Who is her name and who's his crush name?' Lol. jk.. XD
Alright I'll pray for you *seriously* :D
@aquaThestral2929
No problem! I'm really happy for you. I wish you well. 
@SilentSerenityy
Thank you! I wish you well too :D
@aquaThestral2929 ahem.. how about now? :3 are you in relationship with him, or not yet?
@aquaThestral2929 Been through this a few years ago, so i totally get your confusion. What i would like to tell you to consider is that are you both into this equally? that is the most important question right now, which you can figure by conveying your feelings to him directly if you are comfortable with it. Hope it helps :) Stay strong and takecare.
@sunsetLion15
Thank you so much for your advice! :'D
Uhm, I actually have updated this post, hehehe, and I already confessed but he didn't say anything about his feelings. He's still as sweet as ever, though. I remember him telling me a few months ago that he's not interested in a relationship for now, would like to focus on his study first, and he wants to be more mature to be able to keep it together. I also told him I wasn't interested in a relationship (which was true), with almost exactly the same reason as him. So I truly understand that we're not going anywhere for now, and time will tell whether there will be something between us.
I'm happy with the current condition, actually. I'm able to have a special friendship with him, which I really treasure, and at the same time able to focus on my study with him keeping me company as friends. For now, that is enough :)