He cheated but I still love him

My ex broke up with me about two months ago. At the time he lead it on to be that he was going through a lot and felt anxious around me, like he couldn’t be with me because he had a lot going on and I made him feel bad about his decisions. Well, recently I found out he broke up with me the morning after he realized he got drunk and cheated on me with his coworker. I’m so hurt by this. He let me believe I was the reason we broke up because he didn’t have the courage to tell me any of this. He keeps apologizing and saying how he messed up. I’m hurting more than I’ve ever hurt before and I’m not sure what to do. There’s a part of me that’s always going to love him and I just want him. I’d never felt a connection like that before. But he broke it. He broke me. I shouldn’t still love him.