Have you ever broken up with someone and had it go well?
Hello all.
I've made up my mind that I'm breaking up with my girlfriend tomorrow. It's something that I've spent a lot of time thinking about. Bottom line: I don't want to be with her anymore.
It's just that, I'm really stressed out about it because this is only the third time I've ever had to break up with someone. The first two times, it was to end abusive relationships. The only script I have for breaking up with people involves abusive behaviors escalating to try to punish me for leaving, then being manipulative and creepy to try to win me back.
Although some of her behaviors remind me of my abusive exes, I don't really think that's how it will go. Still, though, I'm afraid, because I don't know for sure. I know she'll be sad. That's pretty reasonable. Best case scenario, she understands where I'm coming from and respects my boundaries.
Have any of you ever broken up with someone, and it went reasonably well?
@charmingZebra76
I had an ex who decided she wasn't in a place to do a relationship and she told me she thought we should break up. She was very nice and calm when she told me and she made sure I understood it wasn't about me and answered the questions I had. It was a very low-intensity breakup and after the sort of "mourning period" for the relationship we were able to be friends.
@charmingZebra76
Unfortunately I can't say I've had a breakup that went well but I'll give you some food for thought.
From experience, the only time a breakup can go reasonably well is when there is honesty. Some people think that running away and not having to be the one to end it, is less painful than acknowledging reality. It happens far more than it should and I'm glad you are willing to have this conversation with her. You can't control her response but you can still give her something of valuable, closure. She may react negatively but I can guarantee you that it's easier to move on with closure than having to wonder what went wrong. To me, that's the most caring and loving thing you can do for her right now. I know it's going to be difficult but you're definitely doing the right thing.
I really hope it goes smoothly for you both. Take care.
The only times I've seen a 'break up' go well, is when BOTH Partners are dis-illusioned with the Relationahip
