Depressed before moving to another country
Hi everyone! I'm a 25 year old woman from South America who will move to England in three weeks! I'm moving up north for a master's degree. It's only a year long, but I hope to get an internship and a subsequent job after it.
Anyway, moving to England has been my dream for a long time. The only person who helped me feel okay at home was my ex, who also helped me while I was recovering from an ED. We were together for four years and broke up last year, amicably, as we both developed feelings for other people. He then went to Boston to do an MBA course.
He's found a new girl who seems to have taken over his life in just a few weeks. I've been having difficulties with my student visa and with too much free time on my hands before the big move. He's been terrible help and, thus, I've felt even more alone. His parents, who are visiting him, are staying at his girlfriend's place. I mean, ugh! And when we have the chance to talk, he finds a way to mention his girlfriend.
Anyway, even though he's a sweetheart, I need to move on, and fast. I'm leaving and I don't want to stay depressed. I'm oversleeping. I'm tired. I just deleted him from Facebook, but he can still contact me if he wants to. I'm trying to avoid reaching to him, but it's hard. He was my rock.
What else can l do? Thank you.
@Victimofescapism
It seems like you're going through a lot of changes at once and I'm sorry about your breakup. Even the best of breakups can be hard to push through - I don't think it's ever "fun" for either party.
I can't tell you what to do because only you know what's best for you. When my ex broke up with me, we kept talking for awhile, but now we rarely ever speak, and I don't think that's a bad thing. The distance helped me realize that our relationship wasn't what I thought it was and that we were both just going on different paths. When I see him now, it's not so bad, just a little weird, but I have faith that'll pass. Some distance worked for me, maybe that'll work for you.
Feel free to message a listener at any point you're feeling stressed about this stuff - I know it's a lot.
@EleNergy Thank you, Ele :) I've avoided talking to him and I'm alright so far. I don't have anything else to do today, but I hope I'll be alright. Tomorrow will be a bit busier, though!
@Victimofescapism Keeping busy can be a good thing! - Just stay positive and give yourself some self-care time!
Today is day 4 of no contact with my ex and he hasn't said a thing. The longest we've ever gone without talking is 8 days. I'm obsessively checking the last time he was online and it gives me a sense of relief to see him online, even though we're not speaking. All I can gather from his ignoring me is that he's busy with his girlfriend before the graduation ceremony *sighs*.
I want to call him to congratulate him on his graduation day, but after that I don't want to contact him again. I feel that I will always see him as more than a friend, so I'm trying to distance myself from a month (or four) until I can talk to him without feeling a lump in my chest. Until I feel I won't mind that he tells me he's engaged.
..I'm sorry, rant over :$!
