Confused
I've been with my husband for 12 years. Last year he told me he was polyamourous. I've tried to be open about it, but I don't think I can do it. It hurts too much and I don't think it's who I am.
I've gotten to the point where I think I need to leave, to be able to find out what I need, what I want in life. I think I want to go out on my own.
He keeps saying he loves me so much, he'll be monogamous for me. He gets mad when I get upset about it.
He told me tonight he's going to go see his "friend", so I was going to stay out. He says he doesn't think I love him. I don't want to keep holding him back. I don't want to keep hurting. Some people said it sounds like he's taking advantage and that he's gaslighting me. I'm so confused, I don't know what I want anymore.
I hope that made sense..
@lavenderdusk32
Ideally he should have told you about it before marriage , now more likely if you are being hurt , you could meet a lawyer or research if it is even legal in your country. And in a marriage this term makes it illegal (thats my opinion) , if you were not married , his actions could have been justified. But it should be enough to tell him why he should he live his identity and live with the consequences of his decision.
@lavenderdusk32- Sorry to hear you are experiencing so much pain. People change, and it is part of life. What is most important is how YOU are feeling. Your post is clear. You express the realization that the kind of relationship he desires is not you. And you do not want to hurt anymore.
Whatever he says about you not loving him, is not important. What matters is how you have been feeling the past year. Him saying he is willing to be monogamous, then going to visit a friend is not being honest.
You make a lot of sense. You are hurting and know the answer.
I wish you the best in your life. You deserve to be loved without condition.
