Broken, depressed a year later (late 20s)

Im starting to wonder if I lost my chance with a FWB I fell in love with because Im not as happy of a person as the next girl he met, who he became smitten with and made her his girlfriend. I saw him for a year 1-2/week with him always asking to see me and me being exhilarated to see him. We had a sexual relationship filled with sharing personal experiences and thoughts and wants. I felt like he was my soulmate. The One. Time came when I told him I wanted something more meaningful, and he didnt. He attempted to get me to come back several times to the same thing. Hed stop talking to me if I didnt want to come over. regardless, I still love him and cant seem to let go. So when I saw him treasure and cherish the next girl after me the way I wanted to be cherished, it absolutely crushed me.

i have never been in a relationship before. Ive been through a lot and have abandonment and love issues, but does that mean I never had a chance with him because of some inherent/innate sadness? Ive been told I am an old soul, but maybe other peoples saw it as sadness. I had to grow up and mature very fast, but I still fell in love and felt like a young teenager living her life.