Break up anxiety getting worse...
Three weeks ago, my long term boyfriend broke up with me completely out of nowhere. Two days prior we had been talking about Christmas - we had trips planned to New York and to the country for over the festive period - he had been talking about how much he was looking forward to these.
The reasoning he gave was basically that he was scared and that due to his anxiety he couldn't deal with having someone else's happiness also be dependent upon him. For the last couple of years and up until recently we had always talked as though this was 'it', that we wanted a family etc etc...
I just don't understand it at all? The most hurtful thing as well, is that not once has he contacted me since he did this despite saying he would. I was in touch with him a few times over the first week thinking he would realize what a stupid rash decision he had made and just trying to understand why.
I'm not the only who was shocked - he had only mentioned it to his best friend the day before who told him he'd be stupid to end things as well but he went ahead and did it anyway. Since then his friend has been in relatively regular contact with me and has been a great support telling me what a fool he thinks he is.
I'm just not sure where to go from here. He said when he did this that he still loves me, that his feelings are the same and wants me in his life but since I last contacted him just over a week ago, I haven't made any attempt to since and I've heard nothing. It's so hurtful and makes it feel as though he just doesn't care at all.
I thought the longer we went with NC the easier it would get, but my anxiety seems to be getting worse thinking about why it is he hasn't even asked how I'm doing? I'm scared and just so confused.
Is there any way to stop hoping that he'll be in touch/wanting to contact him and tell him what a fool he is when he isn't?