Breakup and Self blaming
I a 25 F, i recently broke up with my bf of 4 years , we were in a very serious relationship . We wanted to get married but my parents didn't approve of him and his family as he wasn't much finanacially stable plus we have Different professions and paths in our life .I'm a very career oriented person so my parents though his family might not help me to go forward through my career .He is a very nice and understanding person we had a great rappo .But i had to choose my parents over him .I had just 2 options - go with him when I was unsure everything was just ifs and may bes or listen to my parents advise - take their advice as they have seen a lot world then me and they will always want me to be happy as I'm very very attached to them.
So I choose my parents .
I told him that and he started blaming me that I used him emotionally .I just played with his life .I gave him false hopes which is true but i had never ever committed him that i wuld leave my parents if required and come to you .
Now I feel terrible , hopeless ,helpless and what not that I have ruined his life .May be he wnt move on or wnt ever trust any other girl in his life.
I have destroyed his life .
And these thoughts are killing me .
How will he or me move on in our lives .
Should I just leave this world so I dnt have to choose between my parents or him ? I'm so clueless.
@TipsyBee. You definitely shouldn’t leave this world. I understand that you feel guilty about breaking up but unfortunately break ups are are a painful part of life that most people have to deal with. I hope that you keep reaching here or even with a listener for support.
Tipsy,
I understand how you feel. I think about how easy it will be to not have to deal with stuff going on in my life and it's so tempting to just leave this world and not deal with life at all. What always stops me is knowing what will happen to the ones I leave behind. I tell myself, "as long as I am here, something can happen. If I'm gone, nothing will happen." Stay in this world, Tipsy. The sun sets at night but it will rise in the morning.
For your situation with your family and ex, that must have been an extremely hard choice to make. And I understand that you wonder if you made the right choice. Only time will tell, Tipsy. You might have made a mistake choosing your parents. Your parents might have made a mistake forcing you to choose. Your ex might have made a mistake blaming you. But no matter what, dwelling on those mistakes will not help you be happy. You have to look inward. Ask yourself of you really would have been happy if you choose your ex and lost the type of career you wanted. Ask yourself if the type of career you want would make you happy even if you had no one. Take time to figure out your desires, wants, and and needs. Find out what will make you happy. Then choose to focus on that. Sometimes you can sacrifice things that make you happy for someone that also makes you happy. But you should never sacrifice everything and leave all your happiness up to someone else, whether your ex or parents. And if someone wants you to sacrifice everything, they aren't worthy of you. Be strong, be brave, be you!