Breakup Complications

@FindingPeace2015 I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through that honey, I am sorry that someone who says that they love you used hurtful words in a moment of anger.

I do want to say, that I don't know your situation that well, but based on what you telling us I do think that it's possible for you to move on. I know right now, it feels like constant waves of never-ending pain and issues, but one thing that I think you really captured well is the idea that you two are good people, just maybe not good for each other. Now, that maybe easier said then done (I don't know how intertwined your guy's life is) but I think that if you truly BOTH feel like you want to make this work (and have not already tried it) you should go to couples therapy. That might help you better communicate.

However, if you do not want to preserve the relationship and feel like the connection is just not right for you guys, I would say to try and limit contact as much as possible. I know that it sounds a bit mean, but it sounds like your partner seems to do this thing where they want to break up and then get back together again a lot. If that is the case, then it will be near impossible to 'move on' from the relationship as long as their still in the forefront of your life. As I said before, I don't know how intertwined your lives are which can make this more difficult, but even in just limited cases of contact you can start to move on. I would be upfront and honest with them as much as I can and say: Because I love you and feel that you are a good person, I don't want us to keep hurting each other. I want us both to move on to possible relationships that will support us better.

after that, I would begin to separate myself the best I can. I hope that this is helpful, sorry if it is not applicable exactly, but I hope it helps you!

Thank you both. I told him a few minutes ago that I did not want to get back together and that I don't want us to keep hurting each other. I feel....low. Really low.

But the world keeps spinning, and we keep on spinning with it.

I hope someday he finds someone who can make him happy. That's all I can really say right now. I'm gonna go cry way too much and try to sleep some.

Thank you again. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Yes but you have to stop surrounding yourself with people who drag you down. Stop saying YES to people just because they are there making promises that sound good.

If he keeps leaving and you keep giving him more chances, at a certain point you are choosing failed relationships and need to take responsibility. If you already know the outcome is just going to be another disaster and more hurt and tears for you, choose something else. CHOOSE YOURSELF. Choose your own happiness and peace of mind. The opportunity is right here right now to do something different with your relationships- It starts by saying NO to all the things that made you unhappy previously.

Theres so many beautiful, kind, generous and supportive people out there. Any one of them might love you the way you deserve! But you will never discover them if you keep fixating on the one person that you already is incapable of loving you that way.

CatsInTheCradle

@FindingPeace2015

It sounds like you're in quite a difficult situation and you know what you want. It may seem like its hard right now and things look difficult however we are all here for you here at 7cups and you'll have the strength to move on. :)

As long as he is in your life, mind, heart and in phone. No you won't move on

It does suck. I do know it was the right choice and I know it will get easier eventually. I appreciate you all for your support! 💕

@FindingPeace2015 "we are not good together and I definitely don't see a future together." You know deep down how you truly feel. It is up to you to set boundaries around how much access he gets to your life. If he is able to be in and out as he pleases, this will prolong your healing.