Break?
Currently unclear. My boyfriend of 9 years asked for a break about 2 weeks ago I try to stay strong but I’m struggling. The problem currently is because I had been working 7 days a week and we hardly saw each other😞 The reason I’m working so much is because I have a regular job, Monday thru Friday then a caregiver on the weekends. The weekends were normally our time to spend together but I would come back after doing a morning caregiving shift in afternoon which didn’t leave us much time. He had expressed his frustration with this. I had been trying to get extra help to do caregiving on the weekends but I think he had grown impatient with me taking too long to make this change. He wants us to take some time to work on ourselves and I know he is upset with my family also as this is a family friend and he thinks they roped me into this and I let them. I love him so much it hurts I don’t want him to think I took our relationship for granted. The thought of never seeing each other again is killing me inside. I feel like I need to respect his time, he said we could still be friends and talk but that seems impossible right now to me. I have been making improvements this past two weeks I got Sundays covered so I’m only going once on the weekends. I have set some boundaries with my family and have started therapy. I know he can’t see these things but I’m hoping by doing self care and making positive changes that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.😞
Hello dearest,
Someone who has been with you for nearly a decade of your life shouldn't get up and leave because you are working extra - this is quite a big red flag! Does he have someone else? Has he been speaking to someone else? Has he communicated with you? Is there something traumatic going on in his life? SO both of you should definitely communicate with each other - you could explain to him why you are working more and why you feel you need to do that also...
Also dear you should look after yourself too - it is unhealthy to work all the days in the week without giving yourself adequate recouping time.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel my dearest, it might not be the exact colour of light we always want but there will always be light, as I always say the sun is always shining somewhere in the world, even if you cannot see it - irrespective of the outcome, this will be an opportunity for you to focus on yourself and grow and become a whole new you, the best version of you - and I can only imagine how great that you will be if this you is so awesome already!
Sending love ❤️
@LetTheSunShine22 thank you for the lovely message and positivity♥️ Sending all the love back to you! Very much appreciated 🌈
@LetTheSunShine22 to answer your question I did ask has told me there was no one else and I do believe him and we we’re pretty solid for a long time so much so that I was blind sighted by this. I wouldn’t say that there is not something particularly traumatic but I’m aware he’s under a lot of stress for numerous reasons and that does has something to do with it. Part of it is he said All the stress he’s under makes him feel like he does not have the emotional capacity for a relationship right now.
@reservedMango5210 - Sending love back dearest, we are all here supporting you ❤️
I do want you to know - sometimes people make stupid excuses to place the blame somewhere and not on themselves, be wary of this beautiful soul - and as humans because we find it easier to accept we believe them - a solid relationship is one that we fall back on - no matter what is going on in our lives, we would not walk away from a happy and solid relationship at the time we need it most...
Do you see where I am coming from?
I do see it yes ♥️ I’m just still having a hard time knowing how solid and happy we were once and didn’t feel like that long ago. Also we both live with our parents still which was another factor I did not mention I thought we were going to have a conversation of the fact we were going to finally move out together and instead was completely not what I expected😞 Living at home is very straining for both of us as I feel like both our families are always needing something from us. Part of me feels like he’s just so frustrated with our living situations I was just hoping that was something we could change together. He said that If he moved out with me my family would think he was the bad guy. Anyway thank you for listening ♥️
@reservedMango5210 - Ah I understand, it hurts so much more when it is something you do not expect - but sweetheart you really sounds like an amazing person! I am absolutely certain this life will treat you well because you have such a kind heart. Our greatest pains become the greatest blessings sometimes and we will never see it within the moment because it just hurts too much - it is so cliche but truly time heals absolutely everything - sometimes the best and worst medicine can be time itself.
Regarding your family, it's clear they need you and they too are burdened and pained - be their rock during their dark hours because one day they will not be in this world at all, and a time will come when you will be completely hugged only by their memories. I know it is difficult now, but it gets better and never run when things get tough sweetheart - stand and fight (metaphorically of course) until you triumph, which you will and then walk away in peace - it does happen and it is not impossible.
Another thing dearest, 100% I warn you please never put all your happiness in another - your happiness should come from a beautiful place within, just like the sun, radiates on the dark days too. When you put your happiness within another you are giving them the key to destroy you - now you can also have a happy balance too dearest, we don't want your beautiful self hurting.
I am here to help and listen whenever I can - let me know of your good news soon ❤️
Sometimes what seems to be something terrible can turn into a blessing in u to our life. Try to look ahead and upu might find out that your life is getting better or someone new will show up. It’s funny how life works like that . Try to better yourself and you might be surprised how much happier you are without this person . Possibly a new friend or new job or whatever life happens to
bring . If he left for that reason it isn’t meant to be .
@Broken2022 though I’m not sure I’m ready to accept that it wasn’t meant to be quite yet but I thank you for your response and honesty 🙏
I'm in a similar situation, my girlfriend and I have been having issues and the relationship hasn't been working. We both have external things going on with our children, I haven't been the most active or present father to mine and hers are having health related issues. We've currently broken up but still living together as roommates until I can get money together and get on my feet and a place for myself. While we didn't expressly agree that we would get back together we have talked about hanging out and still talking and things. I love her and too hope we work things out, I was about to propose to her and what not. It's hard but keep doing the things you need to do for yourself even if they don't come back someone will come around.
How are you feeling today?