Almost Relationship...

This is going to be the most complicated story ever only because I am one who never gets into complicated situations.... I'll give the people in this story fake names to protect their identity. .. Back in May/June of last year my brothers ex-girlfriend best friend Holly, her two kids and her boyfriend James ended up moving into a new house with me and my parents. I had a crush on James but I always kept it to myself 1. I never get in between someone's relationship. And 2. I just knew he would never ever like me. Well as time went on my feelings for him became stronger and I had to try and put all that in the back of my head especially when he said I was like a sister to him. Well him and Holly ended up breaking up in November which really wasn't a surprise because they had broken up maybe two times before that. So James ended up moving into the garage while Holly kept the bedroom. James and I always had a close relationship, but we were talking more hanging out more and I was finding out that we had so much more in common, favorite animals, both love music, write music, same birthday month two days apart. Along comes Christmas night and he's in my room watching basketball like usual and he starts tickling me like normal then out of nowhere he starts caressing my face and arms and so many butterflies are flying in my stomach. He ends up laying on my lap, then laying on my chest in my bed and it was just the most amazing feeling, but I was so thrown off. A couple days later he asks me if I felt that we had a connection. I said yes I really did, and he said that he almost kissed me that night. We talked about trying to be a "us" once he moves out and it just made me so excited because I really liked him alot. He made me feel so beautiful anyways.... time went on and he soon ended up kissing me and he said the cutest thing before he leaned in he said "Don't be nervous" I still can't get it out of my head. We kissed and cuddled in secret for about a week then school started back up and he still showed signs, but they weren't as strong. I had to ask him if I did something wrong, but he was just lost, and confused with his feelings. The point of this whole story was we kissed in January and I've practically been fallen apart from Febuary-May he ended up getting back with Holly in March even though he said she treated him like crap and made him feel unappreciated and he knew that if he went back with her that it would just go down the drain. He practically friend-zoned me without me knowing. The thing is I know that him and Holly have there own place now, he's sleeping on the couch and she's sleeping in the bedroom...I haven't talked to him in a month and I care about him alot. He told me before we moved that he cared about me alot to and he was the one who helped me to stop my self harm. He's the only one I can tell these things to. Part of me keeps hoping that there is still some kind of chance for an "us" I just don't know if I should give up on him. Or just try and focus on me and getting better with my eating disorder and depression and still be here when he needs me.