What's one thing most people don't know about you?

That I really do care about what people think of me.

I am 16 years old and my parents still need to pay for everything for me. I can't seem to get accepted into a job. My grades are pretty average so I am afrade I won't get accepted into a college either. I also have no friends. So right now, I feel like I have no future.

People, some of my closest friends included, figure I'm the always-joking, always-naive type. But in reality, I'm anything but. It's a bit of a show I put on at school... though I'm actually very serious and mature. When I've told my friends this, they laugh it off, taking it as no more than another joke.

One thing that most people don't know about me is that I Value almost all aspects of a personality in someone rather than their looks, so if I don't like their personality I probably won't like them

that i cry myself to sleep. i throw my dreams away to catch my parents' dream. i separated from my friends at english class because i was better than them and they sent me to a higher level. i can't see them anymore because we have classes on different days. my best friend tried to kill herself and called me after she did. we talked for half an hour and then she passed out. my other bff, who was my bff for 3 years broke up with me because i told her i didn't want to enter a race, i changed my mind and entered and i won. she lost and now she's not talking to me and she also separated her classes. i lost all my friends at aschool and other classes after school and i also lost my dreams in two weeks. people look at me and they see a smart student who suddenly jumped a year ahead from other students, they see a studios girl who spent her brakes studing at library instead of hanging out with her friends, they see me someone who got the biggest chance to become a doctor at schoo, and they don't see how lonely i am.

People probably don't know that I am actually trying my hardest and, despite appearing like I can handle many different situations, I find silly life difficult.

As cheerful and as positive I come off.... I'm close to losing my mind and that's not even the scary part.

That I have 2 chronic conditions, but I can't tell them, I just feel they wouldn't understand, they've never felt what it's like..

I enjoy historical fiction romance books, they make me hopeful. They excite me especially at the climax and they put me at ease

That I was ready to die two years ago. Planned everything. But then I somehow decided I'm too stubborn to just give up. And I felt terrible knowing how may people would be hurting because they just wouldn't understand why I did it and would probably blame themselves. I decided I'm gonna live the life I want and it felt like being reborn. Days after that life changing decision I often had thoughts like 'Because I'm still alive, I get to do ______'' It was beautiful.