My story
Hi, I was looking for a place to share my story, and I thought this forum seemed like a good place to start. I hope I’m right.
I was born in Leicester, and my parents were together until I was around three. Then my mum left with me, and we came to London, moving through temporary housing and eventually staying with some of my mum’s family. I don’t remember everything from that time, but over the years, I’ve learned about it through stories my mum shared.
When I was around six, I started having a difficult time with my mum. She was often physically aggressive, using household items and sometimes her hands. I have a few clear memories that still stay with me—things like having my head banged against a wall and being told hurtful things or feeling scared in situations I couldn’t control. Those years had a big impact on me.
My mum later started a new relationship, and when I was seven, I met my dad for the first time. I didn’t feel a real connection with him, and the visit was short. Shortly after, my younger brother was born, and I became a caretaker for him in a lot of ways, even from a very young age. My relationship with my mum continued to be challenging, and eventually, social services became involved. I spent my early teens in various children’s homes, which exposed me to difficult situations, and I often felt I had to fend for myself. I didn’t have role models to guide me, and over time I became involved in risky situations that I’m not proud of.
In my twenties, I started a family of my own. I’ve been through a few relationships, and each has left its own mark on me, often bringing out issues I’m still learning to understand. I have three kids, though I haven’t been able to be as present in their lives as I’d hoped. Those experiences have been painful, but they’re also part of what’s pushed me to try and work through the struggles I face.
In the years since, I’ve been diagnosed with several mental health conditions, including complex PTSD, borderline personality disorder, and depression. There are also things I suspect about myself, such as possibly having ADHD or body image issues, though I haven’t been formally diagnosed. I struggle with authority and have a very strong reaction to any kind of aggression toward children, especially given my own past. Managing anger has been a constant challenge, and I often feel overwhelmed by life’s challenges.
My mum passed away when I was around 34, leaving me with a lot of unanswered questions and a sense of unresolved pain. I have siblings, but unfortunately, we’re not close, and I’ve often felt like the odd one out in my own family.
After many years of homelessness, I’m now in temporary housing, which is a huge relief. I’ve found peace in things like camping and have even been exploring the countryside. Recently, I traveled to a village on the England-Scotland border and was moved by the kindness of strangers there. It reminded me there’s more to life than what I’ve experienced in the past, and I’m hoping to make that a part of my future.
After using ChatGPT, I came across this community and, with a little hesitation, decided to give it a try. I’m hoping to connect with people who can relate, share advice, or even just provide some understanding. A friend who gets it would be amazing.
Thank you for reading my story.
— Leigh aka Unruly
@LeighUnruly40 I'm so proud of you for sharing ❤ and I'm really glad you came to cups ❤ I can relate a bit, I didn't have a great childhood either, the effects this has on us, never seems to get easier🙁 I have cptsd, anxiety, depression and emotionally unstable. But I was in the progress of getting a new diagnosis some added things, I'll probably start the few more psychiatrist appointments when I get home. You've had a lot of bad luck out there with relationships🙁 sorry sweetie that's heartbreaking. But 3 kids is amazing, so you see them at all?? Thing is being brought up the way you did, well you have to learn how the world works all by yourself. I know how hard that is. Hey we're not just neighbours or friends, we share the fact that none of us has a family. Have you grieved for your mum properly?? You got a chance at a good life now, I hope you get the support to help you there ❤
@tinywhisper11 you're so right, and the thing is, unless you actually experience this it's very hard to understand why it follows you and effects you all throughout your life so other people just say the stupidest things like don't let your childhood shape you! Most people have no idea.
We have a few similar conditions, I would really like to find out your story and what you have learned to help you along your journey too.
I have been back in contact with my 2 sons but not my daughter. Very difficult situations and stories in themselves.
I've not been able to grieve my Mum properly no. This is one of the most difficult things I have to deal with. I am just at the very beginning of all of this.
@LeighUnruly40 what hobbies do you have?? When you go exploring and camping (which by the way I'm extremely jealous of😁) do you take photos?? If so I'd love to see the world through your eyes ❤❤
@LeighUnruly40 it's never easy situations where kids are involved, hopefully as they grow older, you will be able to make a stronger bond with them ❤yeah a lot of people won't understand, I guess that's the same with most things unless you've experienced it yourself 🙁 people need to be more open minded. Grieving your mum is something you need to do, it must be difficult after everything you've been through. I know a bit about grief, I lost my son😥 so I can listen and help you the best I can there ❤ I'm really glad you opened up ❤ and yes please😁 I'd love to see your photos and videos ❤ my story is not a nice one to have to listen to. I don't want to scare you off. How has your day been?? What does daily life look like for you at the moment??
Wow that is the worst, about your son! I'm so sorry to hear that, I can't imagine. Regardless id still like to hear your story 🤗 There would be nothing for me to be scared away from, feel free to message me,. With the photos and videos we might need to connect somewhere else like WhatsApp or something for me to be able to share with you. That's totally your choice though. And btw don't be offended by my lack of emojis I just don't use em so much.
@LeighUnruly40 😂😂😂 that's ok, I'm the queen of emojis, I overuse them, cause I think their cute😁❤ I actually don't use any social media only this site, I'm actually under government protection programme, so I'm very limited to what I am allowed to do on the internet 🙁 I've been stuck in this hospital for 9 days now😥 I can't wait to go home, I came of the drip though, so hopefully soon I can leave. Do you have any pets??? Guess what!?!? It's 42 days till xmassssss