I'm losing interest in everything
Almost two months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. He lost interest in me and is now dating one of my now ex close friends. We went back and forth and now it seems as if I was the problem in the whole relationship. Throughout my life, I've had insecurity problems and fear of abandonment. I feel like nobody truly likes me, and this relationship and the breakup made those problems worse. He was always embarrassed to be around me or be seen with me and made it clear. I basically had to beg for his attention and for him to not act like a stranger in public. I was always very paranoid that he would lose interest in me and leave me because I wasn't good enough. This breakup has made those problems worse, making me scared to be in another relationship incase they're going to also be embarrassed to be seen with me, don't truly like me, and will just leave me when a better option comes. Although this breakup happened over a month ago and the relationship had a lot of downsides to it, me feeling like the problem and him moving on so fast and me having to get over everything has made me start to lose interest in everything. I have a constant feeling of lingering pain and emptiness since the breakup, and I can't seem to get over the whole situation. I feel bored with everything, and I can't feel completely happy with anything, even my friends. My self esteem has gone down a whole lot more. I'm afraid I won't ever be truly loved or won't be left for someone better. I don't want to be seen as an embarrassment or not good enough for anyone. But ever since the breakup and this relationship, it seems like that's all I am. I really enjoyed the relationship and am very sad it ended. But as I mentioned, he was embarrassed of me and I had to beg for his love and attention, and it seemed like he liked me for the wrong reasons or maybe not at all or maybe a lot, who knows? But I do know he is putting a lot more love and effort into his new relationship, all things he would've never done for me. When we broke up he said he didn't feel a thing and realized why he broke up with me. I don't know how to be better, because I actually want to be loved by someone. I get attached to people and they end up leaving and hurting me. I can say a lot more, but I don't know how to put it into words. I don't know what to do about everything, but it isn't fading and I don't want to miss him. For some reason, all the good moments are sticking to me and overlooking the bad things and it's making it worse.
@maleiaiaia
I am so sorry that you were treated this way. Unfortunately, we have to live with people who don't treat us kindly or the way we deserve. You were not a problem. Sometimes when you put a lot of yourself into someone, they take it and demand more. I feel for you and with you, I myself have gone through some crap this last year and so I understand how the complications of relationships can affect consistent struggles. You deserve someone who prioritizes you, and you deserve someone who wants to be close to you and alongside you. I feel that exact hole. I have a situation slightly similar, and that hole, and that ache, it stinks. It really does stink. And unfortunately the ache of what once was doesn't immediately go away after a certain point. There will be some days where it hurts a little extra. But be patient with yourself and remember that you can do this.
Try to remember everything clearly. We have a tendency to overlook details when it makes us feel content. Some days you might not be able to remember the *** parts, and some days you might only remember the *** parts, and that's perfectly okay! We all have messy feelings and some days our feelings like to try to mess us up. Remember that you are loved. Sometimes you can feel like you're alone and invisible, but you are always loved. You. matter. Don't let people who don't deserve to be your friends ruin this for you. Break-ups are nasty, but there's so much more waiting for you. And you might just be surprised by what you find. <3 You. Can. Do. This.
@StarrySkies1236
thank you so much:) it js hurts cs hes doing all these things for his new gf that he wldve never done for me or that i had to ask for. and that the girl was one of my close friends.
@maleiaiaia
I understand that feeling. It’s hard because he’s not doing anything to hurt you specifically but indirectly because he’s choosing to do it for her and he hadn’t with you. Having a close friend drift away can be hard. I’ve lost several best friends over the last three years and it never gets better. When the right person comes along, they’ll go out of their way to do the things he’s doing for her. Waiting for them can seem almost impossible sometimes though. Just hold on, you can do this! <3