Writing & Depression

Hello everyone,

I'm not 100% certain that this is the right place for this post, I hope it is and I'm sorry if I turn out to be wrong!

It's difficult to put down in words what is so clearly written out in my mind, a feeling a lot of you will be familiar with I'm sure, but I'll give it a go -

For over two years now I have been working on a novel, it's a fantasy, and I'm on what I'd like to think is the second draft.

However, for many months now I have been struggling with it. It isn't that I don't want to write, that I have 'writers block', or that I'm just short on time or ideas. I've thought over it and examined the situation very careful, and I don't think I'm 'excusing' it, as it were. I firmly believe that if you want to write it should be fun, if it isn't fun you shouldn't be doing it (Exception of school work!), and I do want to write.

'The key to writing is to sit down and do it', is a phrase used more or less by a lot of authors giving advise to aspiring ones. I think about my writing every day, and I feel drawn to it - I want to lose myself in this world I have created, that is still developing and changing and growing. It's exciting for me to be there, but something is stopping me. Due to complications in life, just the thought of writing is draining, it's exhausting to think about doing, as are many things (physically and emotionally). It leaves me feeling desperately sad, I wish that I could push on with my writing, to keep going with it. I find that I have spurts where I can revise a chapter or two, but then there are weeks that are barren, I won't even open the folder I keep it all in, though every day I will think about it.

I am still reading in my spare time, which due to visa reasons I have far too much of right now (Delving into some work by Mr. King, in fact, and enjoying it!). I am struggling with depression and anxiety a lot of the time. In the past I've delt with this in my own way, and overcome it to write. I would spend my lunch break at work writing, or spend days off in a pub or cafe where I could be alone and relax, but unfortunately that is no longer possible.

I guess my question to you is, put bluntly, how can I write when I feel depressed, anxious and trapped most of the time?

I'm not expecting anything close to a set answer to end it, but any suggestions, or encouragement would be warmly welcomed.

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

J