Here's a poem I wrote

You know those graphics they use 

To depict depression?

The one with a curled up person 

Head covered by hands 

A thought bubble over their head

Instead of lines of text, thoughts inside

There is only lines

Black, knotted intertwined

Torn apart by the dark, but somehow connected

Fears of being alone, being rejected

From the only home i know 

Dangerous like live wire 

Darker than the night sky

Burning like fire

Spreading until it consumes me 

Can't put it out 

It's just too much

You know those graphics they use 

To depict depression?

The one with a curled up person 

Head covered by hands 

A thought bubble over their head

Instead of lines of text, thoughts inside

There is only lines

I've never related to a picture more

In my entire life 

My head is a void of darkness

Tearing myself apart

The ceiling doesn't give the best advice

I could use a therapist to help me get by 

But it's not worth the money

Don't have the time

Besides, it didn't work

Didn't fix me up

Too scared to ask

Cuz i know theyll say no

Say i'm being dramatic

Say theyre helping not attacking

Trying to force me to say whats wrong

But i'm not ready

Too weak, not strong

Enough to tell them whats going on

Scared theyll laugh and tell me to get over it

She didn't believe me when i told her

That a creep followed me home

I was scared in that moment

But she laughed in my face

Told me, ‘don't exaggerate’ 

So that's why i'm scared to tell them

About the SA

What if they react the same way? 

What if they laugh it off? 

What if they tell me to just move on?

These thoughts echo in my head, dusk til dawn

I tell myself i know i'm safe, but it just feels wrong

My hands, they start to shake

Whenever he’s near

I know that i'm safe, but i'm still filled with fear

I practically have an army of friends 

To back me up

But i still feel like he’s going to catch me alone

I know i'm just paranoid

I know i'm safe

But i can't shake the feeling

It's going to happen again

And i'm just going to freeze up

Let him do what he wants

I know that the chances he’ll do it again

Are low, probably nonexistent

But i'm paranoid as ***

Questioning my existence

They say everything happens for a reason

Then why did this happen to me?

Am i that bad of a person?

Do i deserve it?

What did i do?

How can i fix myself?

You know those quotes,
Those inspirational posters
They hang on the walls?
Claiming it'll get easier,
"Just hang in there."

People always say I'll be fine,
But I feel like I’m falling further behind.
Feels like the darkness is taking over my mind—
All the time.

Fighting an uphill battle
That turns into a massacre.

When I rant to my friends,
They say they understand,
And for a moment, they make me feel better.
But deep down,
I feel like a burden,
Like I’m weighing them down
With every word I say.

I don’t know who else to talk to.
My ceiling doesn’t give the best advice,
And the walls just echo back
Everything I don’t want to hear.

I want to get help.
I really do.
But I’m scared to ask.
What if they don’t believe me?
What if they laugh?
What if I’m just another punchline
To a joke I never wanted to be part of?

There are rare times,
Moments when the light feels real.
Laughter that cuts through the dark like a beam of light,
Warmth from a hug that lingers longer than the cold.

But they’re like shooting stars,
Gone before I can make a wish.
Gone before I can really feel
What it’s like to hold on to them.

You know those posters,
Inspirational quotes,
The ones that promise it gets better?
What if they’re wrong?
What if I’m meant to stay here,
Tracing cracks in the void,
Searching for a glimmer
That never comes?