Friends Game!

So I would like to start this post off with a little game. You can do it in your head or write it down on a piece of paper, or even share your answer in the comments if you like. Please do take part though.

✎ 1. Write down a list of your 5 best friends.
These can be people from your past or present. People you've known for a long time. Whoever they are just be sure that these are the people you consider or have considered your 'best friends'.

This isn't always easy, you can take your time if you would like to. It isn't a test though so no one needs to know these answers other than you.

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ok now that we have our 5 best friends written down. Are you on that list? If you are, congratulations! If you are not, why not? Why are you not your own best friend? Now it isn't unusual to not put yourself as your own best friend so please don't worry. Lets move onto the second part of this game.

✎ 2. Write down the traits/characteristics or qualities about the way that they treat you, that make those people your best friends.

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Ok so now that you have those words written down, lets consider them together. Did you say that they are accepting of you? No matter what mood you are in they still value and cherish you? Did you maybe write that they are patient with you? Maybe they still accept you when you're a bit grouchy. Is it that they love you unconditionally? Is it that they're generous and always provide support?

Whatever the words that you chose are, consider them for a moment.

✎ 3. And now write those words with 'self' in-front of them.

For example: 'self-love', 'self-acceptance', 'self-cherishing' , whatever it was that you chose just add the word 'self' first.

These are the characteristics or traits that we should show towards ourselves. You deserve to treat yourself fairly and lovingly.

Some tips to help you along

Between realising how we should be to ourselves and being able to put this thought into action there can be a small gap and a bit of a challenge. For that I would like to share a few resources that I have found.

★How to be self-compassionate.

★Many of us also struggle with an inner self-critic. From my understanding mindfulness can be a fantastic way to cope with both your self-critic and the resulting emotions that we can suffer from. Just to battle a few pre-conceptions, mindfulness does not only encompass breathing techniques but more generally a way of being in the now.

★One way of battling strong negative views about yourself is to show kindness to yourself through self-care.

★Some people find that when they are attempting to alter their thoughts (e.g. negative self talk), writing down the initial (unhelpful) thought and then attempting to come up with an alternative (healthy, helpful) thought can be useful. This you could do in a structured thought diary or unstructured diary format.

I would love to hear about your path to befriending yourself in the comments bellow.

Tell us what has helped you. What you would suggest. Tell us if you now plan on making changes to how you treat yourself and what changes you'll make. What do you think will be the first step for you to befriending yourself?