Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

7 Cups 10th Birthday Celebration (Day 6) High Expectations & High Warmth

FrenchToast July 8th, 2023

Hello everyone and a very happy birthday to this incredible community we are all a part of. 10 years of compassion, community service, and empathic listening is incredible. Our core values and mission have brought us this far.

This post is dedicated to high expectations and high warmth. We define this value by delivering quality work supported through learning, safety, and candor.

So what is high warmth? It means to provide each other with a space that allows them to take risks and then grow through whatever they learn from taking that risk. It means to be positive about whatever step that is being taken and also to deal with the consequences in an encouraging and supportive manner.

What are high expectations? We strive to give help when asked, because we understand that we are all collectively responsible for the success of our mission. We do not try to avoid problems or explain them away. We face them directly and we work to overcome them. Our accountability comes from the recognition of the fact that if we do not deliver, more people in need will be left without help taking us away from our mission.

When you support someone successfully, you feel a sense of gratification. Over the years that I have been here, I have realized that the success of others has been like a badge of honor for myself as a listener, leader, and as a member of the community. I have learnt quickly that ‘you get what you give.’ So to be a warm demander is an important accomplishment in addition to our empathy, responsiveness, and patience. Being a warm demander, you are showing personal regard, encouraging productive struggle, and creating a safe thriving environment.

A part of the Leadership Development Program focuses on high expectations and high warmth being a foundational leadership principle. A question that our trainees are asked is “What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?” And the general theme of the answers given is everything in balance. Balancing high expectations with high warmth means you are giving the person in front of you a chance to learn and grow safely. And in a way, you are convincing them of their own brilliance. People will always remember how you made them feel, and to encourage them is to give them courage.

I will end this with a quote and a question. Please let me know in the thread below what you think!

‘No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.’ - Roosevelt

  • Do you think you are balancing high expectations and high warmth? If so, what are some of the ways you do it?

8
Sunisshiningandsoareyou July 8th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

Toastttt, this is sooo amazing! You're one of the prime examples here of "high warmth and high expectations", this post makes so much sense coming from you and exactly in the way, as you said! ❤

"I have realized that the success of others has been like a badge of honor for myself as a listener, leader, and as a member of the community. I have learnt quickly that ‘you get what you give.’" ~ Oh goodness, *sameeeeee*, it's a feeling like no other, seeing someone we supported in some way, no matter how "little", do better, even more gratifying when this becomes a chain and there's ripples of kindness around! 🥰

I do my best to follow through high warmth and high expectations as a personal core value also, something as a part of my persona. Thank you for this lovely post! ❤

LovingPeacefulHeart July 8th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub


I feel like the value of “high warmth and high expectations” is about believing in the other and supporting them. Having high expectations means believing in someone and seeing their potential and wanting to see them succeed. Having high warmth is having patience for them and loving them no matter if they meet the goal or not and encouraging them.

HealingTalk July 8th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

Thank you Toast for this well-written, enlightening, and inspiring post.

It helps to remind me of our core values here.

Reminding us of our values should be done from time to time, I think.

It`s never too much. I personally need it.

So thank you for this!

Answering your question, I do try to cultivate professionalism, conscientious work, striving for high quality and results in all I do here. I have many limitations so I rarely achieve the standards I consider best. But I almost always have present those aspirations, like a "true north" in my compass.

At the same time, I try to keep in mind that we are all humans here, with feelings, and emotionally vulnerable people. This is 7 Cups, so we all came here because of something painful in our lives More for some, less for others, but we all have some wounds.

While dealing with my teammates and leaders above me, I try to keep present the human side of the interaction, and I aspire that it as emotionally positive as possible.

When supporting Members, warmth is of the essence. Having empathy, real compassion, genuine concern about their troubles, strongly willing inside that they get and feel better.

And then expressing all of this with kind, warm, loving words. Trying to reach their hearts with our words.

At the same time, aspiring to high levels of professionalism and skill while supporting them.

Mostly, by practicing the techniques of Active Listening, which have proven the most effective way to support.

And abiding by the 7 Cups Guidelines, which on top of that, make them feel safe, and keep this community working properly, avoiding entropy, and thriving.

I fall short many times, but I keep these standards and values as true north in my compass, the "waypoints" to follow in my internal GPS.

I think there is a synergy between the efficacy-driven and the humane side. Being humane makes you more effective, and striving for effectiveness converts your emotions of love and compassion into real benefits for those you support and for the Community as a whole.

Thank you again, Toast for taking the time and effort for writing your very valuable, thought-provoking and Community-nourishing post.

ThatChristLover July 9th, 2023

im not a listener, but I support others in group chats and irl and one of the best ways to help someone is to just be there for them. Support them. You don’t have to say something super wise, just show them that you care. And yet at the same time, if you have had a similar experience, it’s a good idea to share what helped you.


idk im no professional but I try my best :)

2 replies
SoulfullyAButterfly July 9th, 2023

@ThatChristLover kindness goes a long way! every member is also a listener in a sense and the support/care part is very key. Thank you for reminding us that everyone can have high warmth and expectations and spread kindness and for everything you do at 7 Cups!

1 reply
ThatChristLover July 9th, 2023

Tysm!! Hope you have an awesome day <3

load more
load more
SoulfullyAButterfly July 9th, 2023
@FrenchToastClub great post! I love the quote you've shared.

I like having a good challenge - I balance high warmth and expectations by keeping the target and the people we care for in mind.

ouiCherie July 10th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

Thank you, Toast for the reminder to keep the balance between expecting the finest and to stay supportive from the very start to the very end, regardless of the result.

I try to keep a balance between high expectations and high warmth, both for others and myself.

I maintain high expectations through trust. And maintain high warmth through recognition that we all make sense in each of our broader stories.

It's not always easy though. How do you maintain balance?