4 Tips for Managing Anger

"

1. Recognize your warning signs

The first step is to get to know your anger. Recognize when you’ve gotten to a point where you can no longer think clearly or problem-solve. What signals to you that you’ve reached this point? You might feel your heart pounding or your face getting hot. You might start to speak louder or start to make big gestures with your hands. You might have mean thoughts about the other person or know you’re losing control but you continue to escalate. This is the moment when it’s time to step away.

If you’re having a hard time knowing what your warning signs are, pay extra close attention to your face, body, and thoughts the next time you get angry. You can also ask friends or family who have seen you angry what signs they notice. Identify what your warning signs are so you know when to interrupt the angry train before it gets off the tracks.

2. Rate your anger

Another helpful strategy to get to know your anger is to rate how angry you feel on a scale from 0 to 10 at any given moment. It might be useful to imagine a thermometer, with 0 at the bottom and 10 at the top. The more you practice noticing your warning signs when you’re angry, the more you’ll be aware of when your anger starts to climb up the thermometer. There may even be times that it shoots up from a 4 to a 9 or 10. It can be useful to be aware of these changes as they’re happening.

The rule of thumb is that if you rate yourself at a 7 or higher, it’s time for the next step—take a time out! If you are feeling angry at a 7, 8, 9, or 10, chances are that you aren’t able to think clearly, which means that you won’t be able to communicate in an effective or productive way. Time to step out, cool off, and come back when you’re much lower on the anger thermometer.

3. Take a time out

Sometimes it can feel like the hardest part is walking away. It’s also the most important. Realize that you do have a choice here. Even though your anger will draw you in to keep arguing, you’ll feel much more in control if you remove yourself from the situation and return when you’ve calmed down. One way to think about this is that your anger is like a fire, destroying anything in its path. We need to put out the fire before we can do anything else. Taking a time out is a great way to start calming the flames.

If you’re not able to walk away, it can be useful to look at it as a learning opportunity—what lesson can you take from that situation and how may you try it differently next time?

4. Pick some calming techniques that work for you

Now that you’ve walked away from the tense situation, what do you do now? During the time out, avoid purposely holding onto the anger or intensifying it. Instead of fueling the fire, you want to notice the emotion and watch it slowly drain away. This may be tough at first, but with practice, you’ll notice yourself getting better at it."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

How do you deal with anger?

#Anger #Coping #MentalHealth