Silent Strength
Victory has a thousand fathers,
each one striding with chest puffed wide,
claiming the day, each breath a boast,
hands raised in golden light.
But defeat,
defeat is an orphan,
lost beneath the cold gray sky,
its name forgotten,
its echo silenced
by those who turned their backs.
Yet, in the stillness of the night,
when the stars are scattered,
a quiet whisper stirs the air,
a hand unseen,
lifting you from the ashes of defeat.
For victory is loud and brash,
but defeat teaches where strength lies,
it calls for the quiet rise,
when no one else sees the scars.
So, hold the flame inside your chest,
though the world may walk away,
the orphaned road will guide you still,
in the darkness, you’ll find your way.
@ZenArashi
You have crafted something very special there ZenArashi. the highlighting of the difference between the celebration of victory versus the loneliness of failure and defeat. Yet not being maudlin, but rather showing the hidden strengths and lessons defeat teaches and extolling the virtue of perseverance. I was entranced by your metaphors and imagery, but absolutely loved your opening stanza "Victory has a thousand fathers, each one striding with chest puffed wide, claiming the day, each breath a boast, hands raised in golden light". Wow....just wow! I loved the encouraging last stanza, nudging us to keep trying, keep going. And as always, your art is stunning.
@BastionKnight
Wow, thank you so much for your amazing feedback, Knight! I’m so glad you connected with the metaphor about how so many people like to claim a piece of the success pie but disappear when things go south.
Knight, as always, your comments give me a boost of confidence that I didn’t know I needed, so thank you for the encouragement. I’ll keep writing, fueled by your kindness (and a large cup of coffee). ☕️ 😁
@ZenArashi
*Smiles in anticipation of all the literary delights ZenArashi will be creating*
@ZenArashi
Grrrr, it will not let me add a heart of support.....well, here is a whole bucketful of virtual ones to make up for it *sets down the pail filled to the brim with support hearts*
@BastionKnight
Awww ☺️ I’m beaming with happiness. Thank you so much for the overflowing support. Sending you a whole truckload of good vibes right back! ✨
@ZenArashi
I cannae heart this one too...so here is a biiiiiiig grin to make up for it:
*Smiles*
@ZenArashi This is incredibly powerful! I love how you brought victory and defeat to life—victory strutting confidently in the light, while defeat lingers quietly as a forgotten orphan. And the imagery? Chef's kiss! I can definitely picture that chest-puffed victory walking into a room (a very oddly specific visualization for me * nervous laughter *). As someone who struggles to balance celebrating wins and making peace with failures, this resonates deeply. The "orphaned road" as a symbol of finding one’s way in darkness is such a beautiful nod to quiet resilience. It reminds me of the quote, "Success has many fathers, but failure is a lonely orphan." Success is a public affair, with many vying for attention or taking credit, but defeat is a private one, where you sit with yourself, introspect, and learn something new. Definitely saving this for those heavy days when I need a reminder that defeats are also success stories. * Standing ovation * * whistles ( I dont know how to but let's imagine, we are all poets after all * Zen Arashi🌙🔥
@azurePond Please read the line as: Definitely saving this for those heavy days when I need a reminder that defeats are also * a part of success stories *. Defeats are path ways to success, as long as we learn from them and don’t treat them as the end of everything. ( Ended up giving a TEDTalk *sighs *)
@azurePond
If you ever do a TedTalk, please let me know so I can catch you weaving your words of wisdom. 😊
@ZenArashi Wisdom? I’m not sure about that, but I’m flattered by your response! Maybe a stand-up set just full of corny jokes? That is a possibility. Anyway, I’ll keep you posted. 😁
@azurePond
Wow, thank you SO much for this heartfelt feedback! You captured all the essence of this poem so well and yes it was inspired by that quote. 😊 I’m so glad the poem resonated with you as at times, I struggle with striking equilibrium in handling triumphs and failures. I guess it’s a tricky thing, making peace with failure, but I think that’s where the real growth happens.
Aww, you always have a way with words, Azure! Coming from esteemed poet like yourself, I’m just humbled. Thank you again for such a lovely, thoughtful comment! 🙏
@ZenArashi
This affected me more than I thought it would. I really drew from this piece the feeling that I should compare myself less to the success of others because it can be hollow, and stop emphasizing my own failure so completely. Maybe that isn't the message, maybe that isn't what you meant to convey, and I'm sorry if so. But I wanted to say thank you.
@Dingleboop
Dingle, Thank you so much for sharing your take on this poem. Well honestly, you didn’t misinterpret it at all, your take is beautiful. I’m really honored this piece could be part of that for you. Keep being kind to yourself, and don’t forget, your journey is just as valuable as anyone else’s. I’m happy you’re joining this community and I’m looking forward to reading your poems.