I am fine.

You ask me how I am,
I honestly think about that question religiously.
I try to answer the best way I can,
but I do not trust easily, whether friend, whether enemy.

I want to say I am really tired,
I see this colourful earth in black and white.
I wake up each day feeling less inspired
I smile with my eyes but the pain is what i hide.

What i want to say is if I was on thin ice,
I might be the one to sabotage it's beauty.
Cut through it until it's as heavy as my lies,
and gladly fall into the darkness that is beneath its cruelty.

I so badly wait for someone to know I am dying inside,
I have never envied transparency this much.
I wish they could see through all the tears I've cried,
and keep me in their embrace feeling safe by their touch.

If only it where that simple,
If only it were that fair.
If only I could stop feeling so little
so my worries could finally be heard.

But instead I say I am fine,
because they roll of my tongue so easily.
I say I am so very fine,
Because my mind is used to hiding the ugly.

I think we all like to say we are fine,
Because no one really has the time to listen to your burdens.
It's sad that I have to label this pain as mine,
when someone out the has power to unravel the pieces of my curtain.

Oh how light it feels to say I am fine,
because you refuse to let anyone inside.
Afraid that when the have the key to your mind,
They can control the actions of your already broken life.

I will continue to be fine,
It has taken me the long way.
As I continue with the voices in my mind,
Hopefully the pain will soon go away....