A poem I wrote about him 😕

I’m not okay I’m seriously gonna melt, cry, and idkkk in the way back home from school I just got the most poetic words for him in my mind, all I wanted was to write about him just because he didn’t talk to me today :( It hurts me when he doesn’t give me attention, and I can’t tell if all the times he’s talking to me he’s doing it bc he likes me back or feels something for me or just bc he sees me alone and he’s too kind and he talks to me as a classmate ☹️ But my heart breaks in the idea of the second one. Why is he being so sweet with me then? I feel so safe when I’m around him and he reflects so much love and care everytime he comes and talks to me and asks about me, that I just want this guy to be my boyfriend, honestly 😕 If only he knew how he makes me feel with every sound of his voice declaring my name 🥺All these times he’s come and sat with me, and talked TO ME. Why would he talk to me :( All that only bc he sees me alone? He doesn’t even talk to me in the most common way. Or else I wouldn’t catch feelings, would I? Idk but rn I’m at a point where I’m looking forward to going to school just so I can talk to him, and the fact that I waited the whole day yesterday for him to barely talk to me, was so disheartening. He doesn’t know how much he hurt me. Would he care if he knew? 😕 I love him so much. I’m wondering what he’s even thinking when he’s talking to me. I just want to cuddle him. He’s the only person who has made me feel like I want to cuddle him so much when I look at him. Idk if it’s the cute hoodies he wears or like his cuute face. Or the way he cares for me 🥺 Does he? Because I feel so much care when he talks to me. I feel like I can trust him and tell him anything that’s on my mind. He’s honestly the only thing I want right now. I just want to hold him. I want to spend my whole days at school holding hands with him and walking around together. I don’t even care if anyone is going to see us. It’s not even like I would think about others. It would be just me and him. I’m hurting so much everytime I see him spending his days at school with his friends and just ignoring me. Maybe I don’t mean anything to him. But only if he knew how much he means to me. I think I love him… I know the feeling of love, I’ve loved other people before. And I know that this is how it feels. So yeah, I love him. But this time this is not enough to me. What I don’t know is what it feels to be loved back. I want him to love me back. I want to spend every moment with him. After being the whole day together at school I want us to hang out and go on cute dates, on cute little spots that are just for us. I want us to study together, I want him to motivate me to do as good at school as he does, in that school for good students we both are. I want him to help me with maths and physics, and all these subjects he’s good at, while l help him with the basic language grammar he’s told me he doesn’t know, I promise. I wanna write him letters, and poems. I want to write everything for him. In that creative writing club I go to, he’s gonna be the inspiration behind everything I write. Little will the teachers who know him as much as they know me, cause he’s my classmate, know that these writings are for him. Who I am referring to. I love him. I just want to be with him. And I can’t wait for the hours to pass to see him again at school. But this time I want him to talk to me, or I should do that. But I want us to talk. I want us to talk, everyday more and more. I want to get to know him more day by day and fall for him with every new thing I learn. I want him. That’s all I think these last few days. Little does he know that everywhere I go I imagine him being with me. If he cares so much about me being alone at school, then he should be with me so I’m never alone again :’). I want him! I want him.