VOICE

I don't think I have a voice.

If I did, maybe i hid it somewhere

When I was old enough to keep a secret.

But if i did and if I spoke,

Would you hear me?

And if my voice had color

Could it paint the picture lodged in my throat?

Could i sing through life the way that others do?

I am afraid that if I open my mouth to try,

the pain I've struggled to swallow would scream instead.

At the time, i didn't know how to speak

So I said nothing at all.

Even now, some things are just too hard to say out loud.

So, I bare the bitter taste of unhealed wounds of

every word I'm choking on of

every suffocating memory.

But I don't know how much longer

I can hold my breath.

And even now i don't know if this is my secret

Maybe you aren't worth drowning for

Maybe i deserve to breathe, too